Does This Look Like The Face Of An Indiana Lawyer Charged With Smashing Every Single Window At Sheffield's Bar In Wrigleyville?

CWB Chicago - An attorney from Indiana was charged Thursday with smashing all of the windows at a Lakeview bar with a sledgehammer in February, causing nearly $59,000 in damage.

Prosecutors charged lawyer Sujal Pandya, 36, with felony criminal damage to property in connection with the rampage at Sheffield’s Beer and Wine Garden, 3258 North Sheffield, on February 1.

Sixteen custom-made windows and two glass doors were destroyed, according to a CPD report.

The bar’s surveillance cameras captured video of a hooded man using a sledgehammer to smash out all of their windows around 4 o’clock that morning.

“We know who it was. We got him on surveillance video,” one of the bar’s employees told Block Club Chicago at the time.

Another employee in February told Block Club that the suspect was “a lawyer who we banned more than a month ago.” Pandya, who lives in Ft. Wayne, turned himself in to Chicago police this week after learning that he was being charged in the case, his attorney said.

Prosecutors did not offer a motive for the crime, but an assistant state’s attorney said Pandya was a regular patron at the bar. Replacement of the custom windows cost $58,910, according to the state.

It is Pandya’s first arrest. Although Pandya has a law degree from Notre Dame, he has not been working since December, according to his attorney.

Judge Arthur Willis released Pandya on a recognizance bond.

I've been anxiously waiting for my anonymous source (Big Tom) to get me the dirt on this story but he's slacking. 

So I'm going to venture to guess what happened here.

** THIS IS ENTIRELY SPECULATION **

Sujal had been slaving away at the office all week. The only things hotter than the real estate market that summer were the weather temps, and his office temps. He couldn't believe how he'd gone 0-for the entire summer, while his jagoff associate Mark was plowing through them like an Iowa cornfield. The guy wasn't even fucking partner. And he was a huge asshole to girls. How was he constantly swimming in pussy?

Sujal was up to his ears in real estate contracts. He wished he could just rubber-stamp everything like the lowlife's down the hall did on a daily basis. 

But Sujal considered himself a man of integrity. And honor. 

Plus, if that offer came across from Silverman and Goldstein down on S. Wacker and he jumped ship, he didn't want some small mishap from his past career at this dump coming back to bite him in the ass.

"Mr. Pandya, Cameron is on line 1".

"Thank you Lauri"

As she walked away Sujal undressed Lauri with his eyes. 

Even for a 59-year-old she still turned Sujal on when he thought about her erotically. 

Which had been pretty much constantly as of late. He needed to get laid. Badly.

Here he was. A Notre Dame man. Making bank in the Windy City. The world at his fingertips. And he was examing the panty line of his soon-to-be-retired secretary through her skirt.

It had been 2 years since Sumi and him broke up. Aside from his fleshlight, he hadn't soaked his stick since. 

"Suj The Sex Machine! What's up brother!"

Cameron had been calling him that since high school. He refused to stop

"What do you want Cameron? I told you not to call my office. Why can't you fuckin text like a normal person?"

"My boss just threw me his seats for the Cubbies Cards Saturday. You, Me, Diego, and Lenny. 1:20 game. We'll go get loaded at The Stretch then head in. Gonna be 90. Tits and ass will be everywhere."

Fuck. 

Sujal had plans to come into the office and catch up on the never-ending stack of titles he had to look over. But he couldn't pass up on box seats at Wrigley for Cubs vs Cardinals on a Saturday afternoon. It was going to be his best shot at getting some strange all year.

"Fuck it I'm in. See you there at 11."

"Make it 10:30 Sex Machine"

Click.

....

He could barely keep one foot in front of the other as he stumbled his way down the concourse stairs to Cameron's bosses seats. 

"Hey asshole, you just dumped that all over my wife!" some Winnetka tough guy shouted at Sujal as he descended further down the stairs, spilling $16 Bud Lights everywhere as he went.

When he made it to his seat Lenny was passed out again.

Cameron was pissed. He hated when the boys couldn't hang.

"What the fuck bro? Two key bumps before we got here and you still can't stay awake?"

"Your coke sucks bitch. And I'm not asleep. I'm resting my eyes trying not to puke everywhere. Way too many Jamo shots at Roadhouse before this."

Sujal had been wasted since 11. Typical for him after 3 beers. But unlike his other friends who screamed at the top of their lungs and talked non-stop when they were drunk, Sujal remained pretty calm. His lack of motor skills were still a dead giveaway though.

He hadn't been paying attention to the game since they arrived midway through the 2nd inning.

Instead, Diego and him had been scoping out chicks in the surrounding sections. 

There was nothing like a Saturday day Cubs game when the weather was nice. 

Tits and ass were indeed everywhere.

"I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave."

"Are you fucking kidding me"

The centenarian usher was telling the guys they were being ejected. But they didn't know why.

"No, I'm afraid I'm not. Now please get up and leave calmly or I'll be forced to call security."

"What the fuck did we do?"

"This guy right here spilled an entire beer down that woman's back a few rows up. The entire section has been complaining about you guys for the last 3 innings. You need to go."

Sujal filled with shame. Fuck. He'd ruined what was supposed to be an epic day.

"This is bullshit. I paid good money for these seats."

As they exited on Waveland a roar went up from the crowd. 

Followed by "Whoomp There It Is" blasting over the PA. 

"Mother fucker." 

Cameron was visibly pissed.

Lenny was visibly blown out of his mind. 

Diego was visibly horned out of his mind. 

And Sujal felt guilty as hell. 

"Drinks on me rest of the night. Let's go" 

Sujal knew he had to salvage the day and there was only one way to do that. Get so fuckin banged up that nobody would remember anything the next day. 

3 hours later the boys stumbled out of Bernie's. The game had been over for a couple hours but Wrigleyville was still buzzing. You could smell the electricity in the air. And see the drunknesness on everybody's faces.

Espcially Sujal and Diego's faces. Who were the last two standing, er, stumbling down Clark St. 

Cameron and Lenny had either Irish goodbye'd them, or did they end up leaving with those two single moms with the tramp stamps and C-section scars they were offering drugs to a couple hours prior? 

Who knows. All Sujal knew was Diego and him needed to find something to take home. And they weren't thinking a slice from Dimo's.

Down Clark St. they went. Getting denied from seemingly every single bar on the street. 

The doormen could smell them from 10 feet away. And the look on their faces was even worse.

"Nope. Sorry. Not coming in. NEXT"

What the fuck Sujal thought. Were they really that drunk already? It was only 5:30. 

Diego said they had to get off Clark St and to follow him. Which Sujal clumsily obliged as they headed down a side street with his face buried in his phone copying and pasting "Hey" texts to every girl in his phone.

When he looked up they were standing outside Sheffield's.

Sheffield's? What the fuck are we doing here? Sujal thought to himself as the doorman casually looked over his ID and handed it back to him. 

The bar was somewhat busy with people standing 2 or 3 deep at the bar and all the high top tables occupied with groups standing around them. 

Diego found a hole and shot through like Christian Okoye knocking anybody close enough off balance with his lumbering shoulders. 

They found a place along the bar rail and just then Sujal's life changed forever.

There she was. The 8th most beautiful girl he'd ever seen in Chicago. 

Medium proportioned legs, more sunburned than tanned, but still sexier than the pasty white she undoubtedly was in the harsh Chicago winter months. Thick hips covered in cut off jean shorts hinting at just a little bit of a muffin top. Her tits were by far her best feature. And she knew it as she made sure they were prominently displayed behind her barely there tank top. Her blonde, unkempt hair was tied back in a pony tail and her slutty eye shadow gave off a very "you don't fuck me, I fuck you" vibe. Her chipped nail polish showed she liked to work with her hands.

Sujal was enchanted. 

Her name was Andrea and she was from Rockford. She had been going to hairdressing school here in the city but put it on hold because she wasn't sure if it was her thing or not. 

For the next two hours Sujal stood there, waiting for Andrea to come back and ask if Diego and him needed anything else so he could pepper her with another question. As the bar began to clear out, Diego finally threw in the towel. 

"I'm going home to order Jet's and JO. Good luck closing this slam pig bro. Take pics."

Andrea realized she wasn't getting rid of this guy. She just hoped that Phil the doorguy wouldn't leave early so he could escort her to the El stop because this guy was definitely one of those "wait for you outside on the sidewalk and follow you home creeps."

As last call finally came around and Sujal had run out of family members to ask Andrea about, she presented him with his bill.

$116. "God I love Wrigleyville." He thought to himself. This bill would have been $400 easy downtown. You know what? Fuck it. 

Sujal grabbed the pen and scribbled in $300 on the tip line. As he closed the check presenter he proudly awaited Andrea's reaction when she opened it to see what a baller she was in the presence of.

Her eyes lit up. 

"Hey, just wanted to say thank you. You are sooooooooooooo sweet!"

"It's not problem. You were great. My pleasure."

"You didn't have to do that. Come back again anytime."

"Cool I will... Hey can I get your number? To, ah..."

"Come back again soon."

Did he get shot down? Or was she playing hard to get? 

She was definitely playing hard to get. Or at least Sujal thought so as he began his quest to win Andrea over.

Week after week he made the trek from his bougy, over-priced, condo in West Loop over to Wrigleyville on whatever night Andrea was working. He threw the barback Jesus a $20 each week to text him a pic of the handwritten schedule hung up in the back office. He became a "regular" and even had his own stool at the bar. A front and center seat to ogle Andrea and guarantee that whichever direction she walked behind the bar she was sure to inhale a whiff of whatever intoxicating Axe scent he had decided on that night. 

It had become a second job for Sujal at this point putting in the hours he was. And it had become a nice income for Andrea. All of a sudden she was taking home an extra $400-$500 a week on non Cubs game shifts all thanks to this Sujal guy. The more she entertained the guy, aka flirted, the more generous he was. The other two girls she bartended with called her a stripper or a hooker for "playing the Indian dude" but she said he was harmless and just a nice guy. 

Until one night. 

It was just a another Tuesday in February. 20 degrees and dark. The sun popped out for about 5 hours that day it felt like. 

Sujal left his office and caught an uber to School and Sheffield. As he walked in he could feel Andrea's coworkers simultaneously roll their eyes.

"Hey doll" Sujal exclaimed. 

He'd been calling her doll lately. He could tell she ate it up. 

She hadn't given him her number yet but he could tell it was going to happen any day now. And once it did, sex, marriage, and children would soon follow. He was sure of it.

As he made his way to "his" stool he noticed another guy was seated in in. 

Sujal couldn't help but notice this was a fairly attractive man. In a rugged, Brokeback Mountain man type of way.

He immediately sized him up as competition. 

And he was right. Andrea barely paid any attention to him. She was engrossed in this other guy. With his trucker hat, and perfect five o'clock shadow. He was making her laugh with every word that came out of his mouth it seemed. And she couldn't stop brushing her hair back with her hand when she spoke to him.

Fuck this guy.

After a few Captain & diets, Sujal slid his chair up next to his stool this other guy was sitting in.

"Hey man, do you come here often? My name's Sujal."

"Nah man. I used to but then I stopped fucking this girl. But it's winter and I'm in a dry spell so I decided to stop in."

"Oh yah? Which one?"

Sujal asked, even though he dreaded the reply.

"Andrea. The chunky blonde"

It was like a knife to the heart. But he couldn't let it show.

"Oh. Nice bro. Yah she's stacked. Good for you for hitting that."

"Yah she's kinda frumpy with no clothes on, but she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch, and let's me put it in her ass. And she loves being choked so it's whatever."

"Ha. That's awesome."

"Like really choked."

Sujal was crushed.

He stood up and told this mystery man it was nice to meet him. 

He walked over to where he had been sitting and picked up his Tumi messenger bag, turned towards Andrea, and tossed a $10 bill on the bar.

As he was just about to the door she shouted to him-

"Hey honey you only left a ten on accident."

Sujal stopped dead in his tracks. Without turning around he took a deep breathe and let it out,

"It wasn't an accident. You whore."

"Excuse me?"

He could tell how shocked she was by the tone of her voice. Damn did it feel good to get that off his chest. After the thousands of dollars he'd spent and hundreds of hours he'd invested to win her affection. She just let's some bum show up on a whim and choke her out whenever he felt like it?

"You heard me bitch"

He had no sooner let the word bitch out of his mouth than Phil picked him up as if he were a feather and hustled him towards the door. Before he knew it he was laying on the cold sidewalk. The palm of his hands scraped and bleeding. Tears began to form in his eyes.

"Fuck you Phil"

"No fuck you you little creep show. I haven't liked you since the first time you came in here. You're never allowed back in here again."

"Good. You think I wanna come back here? Go fuck yourselves. This place sucks."

Sujal slowly got to his feet and brushed himself off. When he picked up his messenger bag he looked up and could see Andrea and her john standing on the other side of the window. They were laughing at him. Like cruel school children on the playground. 

In the uber ride home Sujal thought about the many twisted ways he could defend his pride...

AGAIN - THAT WAS ALL COMPLETE SPECULATION

So to answer the question in the headline in one word. 

Yes. 

Yes it does.

p.s. - Notre Dame grad. Obviously.