COWBOYS WIN HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST WITNESSED!!!
I HAVE. THOUGHTS.
First up, Atlanta may be, PROBABLY ARE THE the biggest chokers in the history of the National Football League. They had a 99.9% win probability (a better probability to win than the Super Bowl they threw away) and SOMEHOW someway messed up in the one way possible: not going for the ball as soon as it was live on an onside kick.
Greg Zuerlein. MY OH MY. What an onside kick. No matter what he does for the rest of the year, he has proved his worth to this team. I'll never shit talk you again (probably).
Speaking of proving his worth, DAK BABEEEEE. 3 Rushing TDs, 450 yards passing plus ANOTHER TD-- my lord. Pay him. As someone who witnessed the Nationals go from downtrodden and left for dead to World Series champs in a matter of months, this feels reminiscent of THAT. THIS win right here? I finally believe. I finally believe that THIS TEAM can do this. From now on, nothing is impossible. But way more important than my belief, a hopeless Cowboy romantic, is that this team will now believe too. No lead is safe, no hole is insurmountable. They will dig and they will claw and they will win.
And the weapons? HO LEE SHIT did they do their thing. Gallup with the huge catch and the presence of mind to stay in bounds with his left ass cheek, Amari Cooper with the one-handed catch, the rookie CEEDEE Lamb with 100+ yards and even… Dalton Schultz?? Man oh man did Dalton just become THAT DUDE, a straight up security blanket for Dak. And thank god, Kellen Moore and Mikey Mac (new nickname I just thought up) think of Dak as a scoring threat with his legs as well. If this is the McCarthy Era I am HERE FOR IT.
Elation is not the word… I have no words. I’m just… shook in the best possible way.
This season is going to be one hell of a ride and now that we’re 1-1, instead of 0-2, a loss to Seattle isn’t a death sentence. The schedule will get easier after that. 6-2 is not out of the question after the first 8 games. The Division Title? Still in reach.
ANNNNDDD For the haters… A GIGANTIC middle finger to you. GOOD DAY SIR. GOOD DAY.
P.S. For the random stan who got mad because I roasted rookie RT Terence Steele for his three egregious penalties… welcome to the internet where no one is safe from criticism.
PPS Go pick up this fire CEEDEE Lamb shirt that just went on sale today… Limited edition, will go FASTER than you can say ATLANTA CHOKES!!!!