MURDERED IN COLD BLOOD
A good friend of mine likes to say, "Don't come at the Rocket if you don't want the smoke" and the exact same thing applies to Duane 'Dewey' Bock and his humongous calves. Over the last few years Phil Mickelson has been flaunting his calves all over social media while the real King Of Calves was just sitting back WAITING for Kiz to play a practice round with Lefty. Today was that day out at Winged Foot and folks it's NOT EVEN CLOSE. Phil has nice calves, sure. They're toned and tanned. They're cute. Dewey though? Dewey looks like he's god damn alien trying to escape his leg. That's the difference. Game, set, match, Dewey.
PS- Dewey is legitimately the nicest person I've ever met and is in no way looking at this as a competition. People will often say, "So and so is the nicest person I've ever met" but I actually think Dewey is the nicest person I've ever met. I get so happy every time I'm lucky enough to see him and hang out with him. Dewey probably gave Phil a few pointers on how to make his calves better and gave him a hug.