Simon The Porn Pirate Thanks His Supporters As He Announces His Retirement From Barstool And Sails Into the Night

So Pirate Simon quit/retired from Barstool Sports last night. (Yes I realize that he didn’t really have the job yet but that’s semantics) I actually sent him an email telling him I wanted him to come in today. My plan was to offer him the job provided he’d wear an eye patch for the entire summer. But before I had the chance he sent me a fairly long email demanding an apology first. I countered with my eye patch proposal which he flat refused. And so ends the saga of Pirate Simon at Barstool Sports. Gone but never forgotten. Yet another shooting star in the Barstool constellation.

PS – I will say I got a kick out of him announcing his retirement via twitter before I could say anything. Old Michael Scott trick. Alert the media, and then you control the story. Wait for them to find out, and the story controls you. Also Pirate Simon thanking his supporters on the way out the door is sneaky the funniest thing in a long time here at Barstool.

Cue the Music…..