[extreme Jon Gruden voice]
I'll tell you what man, if I moved to a place where every vice known to man was at my fingertips 24/7, I'd probably appear to be absolutely fried. I'm not just talking my hair or my face. But my complete soul would reside in tatters, especially if my boss kept inviting me to PF Changs. I'm not sure what all this means for the Raiders. But Jon Gruden finally morphing into this version of Chucky in the Carolina heat today can't be great.