The Haters Guide to the Cowboys-Rams Sunday Night Game

I don’t feel good about this game. It could be the hype surrounding the Cowboys that has reached peak levels from every media outlet in the land, it could be Steven Cheah (our NFL “expert” who uses data derived solely from an Excel sheet formula) predicting the Cowboys would go to the Super Bowl, and it could be because this team is favored by 3 points on the road in LA LA land. Historically, the Cowboys being 29-26 in West Coast games, with just a 6-6 record in prime time, doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. Mike McCarthy being 14-14 on Sunday Night Football with a 5-10 record on the road? Chills.

What do I hate? 

I hate that I can already see Cooper Kupp wide open (despite his sore ankle). I hate Aaron Donald; I already have nightmares of him eating Dak Prescott like you see in those Chunky Soup commercials (even though the Cowboys are one of only six teams he’s never recorded a sack against). I hate the Rams brand new toy Cam Akers, who I can see running wheel routes past Leighton Vander Esch and his reconstructed neck. I hate that I can already see rookie Trevon Diggs with a costly pass interference call. I hate that I can already see a Connor Williams holding call that stalls a drive right before half time. I REALLY hate that I can see Greg the Leg, who used to be automatic but went 24 for 33 last year, miss a 43 yarder to win the game after the Cowboys CLAW back in the fourth quarter. 

I hate this game so damn much. 

So if you are a Cowboys hater (which is a LARGE base of human beings) this Sunday Night game is for you. Can you see Stephen A laughing, cackling even on Monday morning as he gives his best Jerry Jones impersonation?  I can. 

HOW ‘BOUT THOSE COWBOYS?  

But it’s not all bad news. Here are some Cowboys prop bets I like

Player to Score 1st TD of Game:

Elliott (+500)

To Score A TD:

CeeDee Lamb (+210)

Tyler Higbee (+170)

Listen, I could be wrong but this game has Rams W all over it, and for the haters, let my pessimistic tears be your pleasure.