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What Are The Chances Jeff Bezos Has Eaten At Least A Bite Of Another Human Being?


I saw this tweet on the ol' Twitter timeline yesterday and it got my brain to thinking...and it landed on "I agree". I think Jeff Bezos has probably eaten a human being, or at least a piece of one. I'd assume probably not a finger, but something nice. Like whatever the human being equivalent of a filet mignon is, that's what Bezos has had, maybe in the form of tacos, like with a nice slaw. 

Now obviously this is a rather large allegation, suggesting Jeff Bezos eats people. But I don't really think it's *that* far fetched when you truly think about. I don't think someone who is worth 200 BILLION dollars follows the same rules and protocols as the rest of us. There are things he knows, things he can do, that we can't even dream about. Like...our brains can't even conceptualize things he has done because it doesn't exist in our realities. And that's why I think he's eaten human.

It doesn't mean this person was once alive though, that's the catch. He very well could be growing human meat in a petri dish as part of his own weird home experiments. If you don't think type of thing happens at Area 51 or in Jeff Bezos' underground bunkers, you're kidding yourself. You ever consider Bezos could light 199 billion dollars on fire and still be a billionaire? Of course he's eaten human meat! Literally nothing you could tell me that he has done would shock me or make me bat an eye. If it came out tomorrow that Bezos has secretly been to Mars, I would be like "yeah, that makes sense". 

Look, I'm not trying to be Mr. Conspiracy Guy, but I guess I am. We don't know the half of what actually goes on around us. We see what they let us see. The real movers and shakers are doing things we never know about. 

Am I crazy? Maybe. Probably. But I think I have this one correct. Zuckerberg is a lizard person, and Bezos eats humans. Is what it is. And if I end up missing tomorrow, well, I hope I taste good.