George Hill Missed The National Anthem Because He Was Busy With His Pregame Ritual Of Taking A Shit

Listen. When you've gotta shit, you gotta shit. You ever try changing your shit schedule? A nightmare to put it lightly. Your body does not comply. I got stuck last year somehow always having to shit post-shower. It was chaos. It was like this for months until I finally took matters back under control and forced a pre-shower bowel evacuation so that I could get my life back. Because there's nothing worse than being wet and recently clean and feeling that internal knock on the exit door. It basically negates the entire shower. So if George Hill is dropping big dumps like Giannis is claiming then he's really got nothing else to say. Everybody poops, there's a reason that's the first life lesson we teach babies. When the alarm goes off you've gotta be ready to roll and George Hill appears to be quite in tune with his digestive clock. 

But that's not why I found these tweets all that interesting. The phrase "take a shit" is one of those things we've let slide in the English language for too long. You leave a shit. You give a shit. Taking a shit should be a heinous act reserved only for the criminally insane and destitute. Imagine some sort of toilet thief constantly hiding out in stalls waiting to hear that belt buckle hit the floor. Once you're sitting there, pants 'round the ankles, you're completely compromised. Some turd burglar kicks in that stall door and demands you not flush so they can collect your sample there's nothing you can do. You've got cheeks on porcelain, you're in no position to argue or stand up for yourself - literally. You finish, they make sure you don't flush and promptly instruct you to hit the bricks so they can take a shit. These Charles Manson types exist out there and it's high time we start thinking more carefully about our verbiage so that we can identify these sickos and put them on a watchlist. No more taking shits, we're only giving shits in 2020 and beyond.