Beer Hockey: Why it is a superior drinking game to Beer die

I woke up today and tweeted this

which got a lot of heat from the Chad community which I have been assigned. 

I personally believe Beer Pong is the ultimate standing drinking game. I do not think any other game will ever compare to the role of beer pong.

What makes beer pong great?

1-Quick turnaround on games allowing for multiple people to get on and off the table but also participate in a party scenario

2-Requires actual athletic skill that can carry over from sports 

3-Does not disrupt social situations, you can play beer pong in a crowded party and no one really gets pissed off besides ball coming off the table which gets annoying you are not playing outside the table. 

You know what standing drinking game is inferior? 

Beer Die

here is a video of it for those who don’t know

why?

1-Antisocial games take too long only 4 people can play 

2- Cannot play at parties because: Diving around knocks people over and pisses everyone else off

3- Has no athletic skill carried over 

4- Everyone who plays it takes it way to seriously and it ends up being only the same 4 dudes on the table for the whole time and its so annoying because they end up being miles better than anyone else. 

5- legitimately harder to pick up than other games so its uninclusive to people who are trying to socialize with potential romantic partners during a game for hopes of further socialization.

Yes, I am not the best Beer Die player in comparison to the rest of my bros but its simply because the nonaccessibility of the game (Long games, only 2 on a team) causes the game to be polarizing in skill level. And I do not disagree on the best players playing the most but legitimately makes no one else want to play Die. 

Now the best sitting Beer Game is beer Hockey

Here are the rule of beer hockey I play

1. Sit in a circularish fashion around a table with your respective drinks placed on the table in front of you. make sure the drinks are equidistant to eachother.

2. One person spins a quarter in the middle of the drinks. They have 3 tries to spin the quarter before they get a penalty which results for them to "drink" (we will get into the specifics of how to "drink" in a second)

3. once the quarter is spun and is in play on the table spinning around at an agreeable velocity usually gauged by public approval of the group, the spinner says the name of one of the people on the table.

4. This person who is called then tries to hit the quarter at any one of the drink containers on the table. If they hit someones can bottle or whatever that person must "drink".

5. Once a name is called by the spinner everyone else whomst is not called can guard their drinks with 2 fingers on one hand. This is where the name comes from, you are in essence the goalie of your drink and the person who is called is trying to hit the coin at your drink.

6. If the person called to hit the coin misses anyone else's drink or the other person blocks it then whoever they shot at gets to spin the coin and the process starts over again.

7. If the person hits the other person's drink with the coin then whoever drinks it has to chug it for the duration of the coin's spin (spun by who shot the coin at the drink).

8. If the person finishes their drink before the coin stops spinning than they can stop it with the bottom of their drink and pin it. If this happens the spinner has to "drink"

9. No one really wins but everyone gets drunk because you just play until you guys get bored but its really sick one time I shot a hole in a can with the quarter. The dinks are really satisfying. 

10. Rebounds off an initial hit of a can or bottle can be hit by anyone at anyone else can as long as the quarter is moving it can be hit.  Multiple people can be drinking at once

here is a Canadian dude explaining it he might be better than I am 

Why is it superior to beer die in my opinion?

Beer hockey is dope

1- Inclusive, infinite people can play

2- everyone can drink from whatever they want and in the age of COVID less saliva movement with dies balls and finger touching beer.

3- Really easy- inclusive to people who are trying to socialize with potential romantic partners during a game for hopes of further socialization.

4- You sit down all game

5- Perfect for pregaming because you drink a lot

6- You don’t have to end up going to the store for ping pong balls or die you just pull out a quarter

I really hope I help #growthegame for beer hockey because its really fun and die sucks no one likes the 4 die hardos at the darty who just take up space and never let anyone else play. If you're just 4 dudes in your backyard be my guest its a fun game. I know this is controversial and I will take a lot of heat from the Die-hard community who legitimately spend hours crafting Die tables arts and crafts type shit. 

I hope you all play games responsibly on this Saturday and social distance. 

I'm publishing this under parody law just in case this article is too controversial.