Video: This 4-Year-Old Who Hit a Hole-in-One Can Stop Mocking My Existence Right Now
WTOV, West Virginia - A hole in one on a par 3 course may be pretty common for a pro golfer. For a 4-year-old child on the other hand, that's a different story.
Rocco Figaretti loves to golf.
In fact, his dad Mario tells us he started practicing in the year when he turned three.
This week Mario decided to take his son to Oglebay Park's Par 3 course to try out the real deal.
And sure enough, Rocco hit a hole in one! ...
Rocco's family says they're proud of him and really hope he sticks with the sport.
The worst part about this story isn't that I'm still chasing my first Ace in a game I've been playing for decades. It's not that Rocco has a messed up grip, holding the club like a lefty while swinging righty. It's not even that he did it wearing frigging Crocs. Or that this accomplishment is completely wasted on him because he doesn't come close to appreciating what this means or be able to buy drinks in the clubhouse and brag about it.
No, to me the worst part is he's someone else's kid and a preschooler and I so I have to watch what I say. Because my first instinct was to rip this kid apart verbally for ruining my life. I know I suck. I know I'll never be the golfer, the athlete or the human being I want to be. I know I'm a failure at life. I don't need some kid who doesn't know the alphabet yet reminding me. I've got good clubs and brand new spikes and the most expensive balls on the market and I've played a million Par-3s over the years and I can't do what this toddler did swinging My First Driver from Fisher-Price. Trust me, this is not a person I want to hold back on, because I'm just that petty. But I'll bite my tongue. One, because I don't want to get arrested for telling the kid he's got monsters under his bed and Santa isn't real or whatever, which is how I really feel. And two, because I don't want the kid to come back at me and find out he's smarter and tougher than me too, and destroy my last remaining shred of dignity.
So instead I'll just offer this advice, in case Rocco or his dad are big Barstool readers. Don't stick with the sport. Quit now, while you're ahead. Unless you're Tiger Woods, driving balls with Bob Hope on national TV when he was still in diapers, this is your peak. This is the highlight of your golf career. The game will end up breaking your heart in the end. And when you're in your 20s and spraying tee shots OOB and tossing your driver into a tree in frustration, you'll wish you heeded the internet's advice and walked away while you were still filled with joy. It's all downhill from here, kid. Quit while you're ahead.