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I Am HEARTBROKEN For This Instagram Model Who's Going To Miss Beach Days :(

They world just ain't fair Emily!!! I mean you need the beach every bit as much as I need nicotine coursing through my veins all day every day. I mean it's just part of you - I know that because I scroll through your instagram on the nightly in a totally not creepy way. I get that you're a career girl and moving to NYC will help you broaden your horizons, but you were born for the beach, and there ain't no beaches in that shithole of a city. That much I promise. 

Until then, live it up while you can, gurlfriend! 

If you don't like NYC and would like to give Chicago a shot, there's room for one mas more on our Sox vs. Cubs live stream tonight!!! The couch doesn't smell THAT bad, I promise!!!