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A City In South Dakota City Is 'Crying', 'Mourning' An Urban Corn Stalk Because Someone Ripped It Out

Yes, dealing with death sucks. No one wants to do it, it just kind of happens. But when it does happen, we humans usually make sure there is a gathering of sorts to acknowledge the life of the deceased. Personally, I think I'd prefer it if we had a pre-death party rather than a funeral - take people who you think are close to the end and have a big blowout party centered around them - but that's neither here nor there. As long as there is something to remember the life, it's all good. 


Residents of South Dakota’s largest city are mourning an urban cornstalk that briefly became a lighthearted beacon of hope during the coronavirus pandemic.

The Argus Leader reported Wednesday that the stalk had been growing up through a crack in the concrete at the intersection of 57th Street and Minnesota Avenue on Sioux Falls’ south side. Dubbed the 57th Street Corn, complete with its own Twitter account during its brief lifespan, the plant was a symbol of resiliency and hope as the pandemic rages on, Mayor Paul TenHaken said.

This, however... this is a bit much for a fucking corn stalk. 

Giphy Images.

Now I enjoy a fine cob as much as the next guy but do we really need to make this a thing. Like was this really some "beacon of hope" or were people bored and looking for anything symbolic after sitting inside for months. You can only imagine that the numbers of people who saw "Jesus" burnt onto the side of their toast were at an all-time high these past 6 months. 

That just comes with the territory; people are gonna see some shit and cling onto it for dear life, hoping it will save them. Spoiler: it won't. The whole "sign" thing never really made sense to me. Just because the wind blew a certain way, my fate has been decided? Certainly Hopefully not. 

This corn goes to show it. They praised it, they wanted to make it into a symbol of sorts and now it's dead. How do you like them apples? 

Residents reported Wednesday morning that someone had ripped out the lone stalk, prompting an outcry on social media. Someone attached a sign to a traffic post where the stalk grew that reads “CORN RIP.”

Ok, is it a dick move to purposefully rip it out for the sole purpose of ruining other people's fun time? Yes. But I certainly respect the pettiness of it all. 

The mourning on social media is where I lose all sympathy for these corn believers. Trying to get any sort of clout off something so ridiculous should be punishable by public stoning. Excessive, but we can't be having people out there thinking that this is a normal, rational thing. If you're taking time out of you're day to make a "CORN RIP" sign, you're honestly a sick fuck. 

Really? Someone had to make a whole ass graphic just because a cornstalk that was growing out of place died? What type of Bizzaro world do we live in? You'd expect to see this sort of graphic on social media when like your Dad's 10th favorite baseball player dies, not for a vegetable. 

All this does is makes me question the legitimacy of South Dakota as a state altogether. How can you be allowing this tomfoolery to happen? Is this a lawless place run by heathens? All very valid questions. 

The Stockyards Ag Experience, a group working to transform the city’s vacant stockyards into an interactive experience, is selling T-shirts commemorating the stalk.

No offense to the SAG here, but they can kiss my pasty ass. Selling t-shirts? Commemorating corn? You have to literally be insane or a child to buy that shirt and actively wear it. No in-between. I'd go as far as to say that you should be arrested on sight if you're wearing one of those monstrosities. No one should be so attached to a plant that has zero relevance to them or their life. That might be an outlandish take but it seems more than fair to this guy.