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Saturday Shitpost

Normally my Saturday shitposting is done on Twitter after 7 margaritas (almost there!) & it's just me complaining about something stupid, but I've got something a lil' different at the moment.

Yesterday after work I strolled over to the 28th St. station to catch my train home (:: obligatory qualifier = "I was wearing a mask & social distancing as best I could, as was everyone else" :: ) and when I got to the bottom of the steps I was taken aback. 

It's not so much that poop is a rare sight in the city - I even have a selfie where I'm ripping a cig outside the office with someone taking a dumper mid-day about 10 feet behind me, #humblebrag - but this one in particular... the execution of it... has stayed on my mind 24 hours later. It's... it's so high up, and the streak is so... consistent? 

Giphy Images.

Sure, if you're leaning there might be an initial splotch mark at hole-level, but usually it'll just drop straight down without further wall contact. So for the streak this left you'd think they had to have been cheek-squished against it… but there's no cheek marks. The only logical explanation I can think of is a 7ft tall fella (or lady!) pulling a classic lean-n-sneeze. 

Giphy Images.

Either way it didn't stop me from making a delicious boxed cake this afternoon with top notch canned icing. 

Happy weekend & Godspeed to all those racing to reply "way 2 go libs!!!1!!" on a doody post.