I Never Want To Hear About How Tough Hockey Is Ever Again

Growing up in Boston this is all I've heard my entire goddamn life. That hockey is the only real man's sport and everything else is for pussies. Like by somehow sitting on the couch you'll get beaten and bruised just by how intense watching the sport is. And if you try and get into it later than the rest of the kids who were born into milk crates that's also no good, you just can't like my sport. UFC fans have adopted this same, "Please like my sport but also please never speak about my sport," mentality and I'll never understand the logic behind it. But for hockey specifically this "I'm tougher than you because of the sport I watch in my down time" mantra is really the only selling point they've ever had. And now it's gone, all thanks to my co-worker Ryan Whitney. I fucking love Whit but HUH??? This feels like one of those kind of magician's secrets you have take to the grave. The Wizard of Oz would still have his powers if he didn't let anyone take a peak behind the curtain. That's what Whit just did to his entire sport here. He just tore down the curtain and showed everyone his secret. No, not golf, his other sport. 

A sport, by law, cannot be tough if you're bragging about how easy it was to play a historic amount of minutes at the highest level. So easy, in fact, that you could have a nice little pizza break before wiping off your face and going back out to play with your friends. From what I gathered from this clip: professional hockey, moms at Planet Fitness and youth soccer are all about the same level of exercise. Just getting some cardio in and maybe grabbing a Blizzard from Dairy Queen on the way home. On the toughest sports list I'm officially moving hockey from the top five with football and boxing to the bottom five, juuuuust below bocce. At least bocce is played by mafioso types who might kill you just for looking at them funny.