Jamaican Dude Does An Absolutely AWFUL Job Smuggling Drugs In His Underwear At JFK Airport

Gothamist – Smuggling a pound of cocaine in your underwear sounds pretty damn uncomfortable, so we’re not surprised that the most recent alleged underwear coke smuggler to make the news appeared to be a bit nervous when going through customs at JFK Airport. U. S. Customs and Border Protection released details today about the arrest of one Romario Lewis, a Jamaican citizen who was caught trying to bring in the drugs through JFK on April 16th. According to the CBP, when he “presented himself for inspection…he exhibited numerous signs of nervousness” while officers checked his suitcase. Then officers conducted a physical search, and found two packages—equivalent of about $19,000 worth of cocaine—in his “groin area.” Lewis was arrested, turned over to Homeland Security and now faces federal narcotics smuggling charges.

Alright let me rephrase. “Awful” may have been a bit strong. Because double bagging the underwear was a nice touch. When I first saw the pictures of the dark grey underwear and then the red underwear I thought I was looking at 2 different people. When I saw there was only 1 smuggler in the news report I got really confused. Turns out I probably wouldnt make the best TSA agent.

So maybe not totally “awful” but pretty fucking terrible. That first shot of him looks like Lois Einhorn trying to hide her dick:

TSA was probably like “Either that dude has a Captain Winky tucked behind his back or he has a pound of cocaine under there.” Probably got caught fucking immediately. Its just sloppy drug smuggling is what it is. Either you’re putting drugs up inside your butt or dont even bother showing up to the airport. Thats the ultimate Mailtime move for a drug mule. “I’ll just put it under my taint and wear two pairs of boxers! That will be just like putting it up my asshole, right??” Wrong dude. Very wrong. If you’re gonna gonna get hard, you gotta shove the drugs up your butt.