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The National Park Service Wants You To Stop Pushing Down Your Fatter, Slower Friends When Being Chased By A Bear

(CNN) - If you're being confronted by a bear, there's a few things you should know before running away.

As people across the country visiting parks and taking trips to the mountains find themselves in terrifying encounters with bears, the National Park Service (NPS) has offered a few tips on what to do if you're face-to-face with the furry beasts.

The first tip? "Please don't run from bears or push your slower friends down in attempts of saving yourself," the NPS joked in a Facebook post Wednesday.⁣⁣

Does the phrase "survival of the fittest" mean NOTHING anymore? You mean to tell me you're both slow AND not strong enough to stave off a shove from your faster pal in times of distress? What the fuck good are you if you can't move your feet to run but you also can't establish a strong enough base to ward off a potentially fatal push? It's fight or flight time and you're bringing NEITHER to the table? Embarrassing. If you're a heftier fella you need to work on your swim moves and rip throughs should this situation ever arise. You need to become the best defensive tackle in the League for exactly three seconds. You see your annoyingly in shape friend start his shove, you grab those arms and toss him behind you. NOW who's on the ground in the fetal position begging with a bear for mercy? Not you. Take a leisurely stroll on outta Yellowstone, you're in no rush. That is, unless you want to escape the screams of horror as your traitorous friend is mauled to death. But again, maybe if he hadn't have tried to shove you in the first place there could have been a more amicable escape for all parties involved. Plenty of time to play Monday Morning Quarterback from the grave, if you ask me.