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Chrissy Teigen Uses Goya Beans To Make Some Food Just Weeks After Publicly Telling Goya Beans To Fuck Themselves

Let's sit down and have a little talk. If you've been listening to Barstool Chicago Radio for the last 6 months or so, you'd know how fucking sickened I am with how polarized our country is. I'm offering a layup line of joke at my own expense with this, but I know my role. I don't think I'm the smartest man in the room (unless we're talking baseball, in that case I am) and personally try to absorb as many facts as possible in any given conversation so I can sit back, relax and form my OWN opinion on a matter. If the opinion I form goes against the grain, then so be it. I refuse to operate by left/right/blue/red hive mind and always will. That's why in the last few weeks alone, I have been accused of the following because of this half assed tweet:

- Being a zionist
- Supporting Hezbollah (wtf?)
- Being MAGA Dave
- Being libtard Dave
- Being a Qanon conspiracist
- Being a Libstool contributor 

There's prolly more I'm forgetting, too, and I'm starting to reach a boiling point and that's why you've seen me construct a few of these more "serious" blogs in recent days. There's just no gray area in an arena that I feel should be explicitly gray area where reasonable people can agree to disagree. The sea of nuance no longer exists. 

I said it a few days ago; President Trump could slip on a goddamn banana peel and the left would scream bloody murder. On the flip side, Presidential hopeful Joe Biden could fumble around words in an interview and the right would scream bloody fucking murder and accuse him of having Alzheimers or dementia.

I don't know why but I woke up kinda pissed off today. Part of the reason for that is the White Sox had just a piss poor approach at the plate last night. They were swinging at shit off the plate and taking cock shots right down the middle. That, my friends, is not a recipe for success. That said, it feels great to feel so shitty about my team again.

No complaints here. At least not with sports being back.

But then I stumbled upon some Hollywood hypocrisy and it sent me over the fucking edge. A few weeks back, Chrissy Teigen tweeted this:

The whole Goya Bean controversy was so goddman funny to me. It made me want to never, ever purchase Jewel brand black or pinto beans again and strictly consume Goya beans for the rest of my life solely because people are so fucking broken brained that I want to shove it in their face for giving a shit about beans. We talking beans, man. Not a policy, not a policy, not a policy…

… We talking beans

Okay, whatever, Chrissy. You're famous. You have a famous husband, and feel that it is your god given duty as a famous person with a famous husband to wax poetic and tell me what kinda beans you will or won't consume because of the CEO's politics. You're an asshole for it, but it's also your right to be an asshole, so have at it, hoss.

But don't just talk about it, fucking BE about it if that's what you're gonna do. Don't be a completely fucking hypocritical idiot and post  the IG video below a few weeks after publicly telling Goya Beans to fuck themselves. Note - she deleted the video, but shout out Daily Mail  for recording it:

I abide by one simple rule: don't be an asshole. Chrissy Teigen, as one of the biggest "Fuck Trump!" advocates on the planet, you're an asshole for shit talking President Trump, his policy, his rhetoric, and his supporters. Walk the walk, don't just talk the talk, Chrissy. Because of this video, it's my right to now say that you are NOT allowed to shove your political views down peoples' throats any longer. Hopefully she gets fucking cancelled.

I saw somewhere the other day a joke about Ellen Degeneres. It went something like this:

Ellen bought 1000 cheeseburgers to give away to homeless people. On the way to hand them out, the camera's battery died so she just threw them all away.

Touch em all. That's a home run of an analogy and one that I believe perfectly represents many of the dickheads in Hollywood right now. And no, that's not because I do or don't support President Trump. It's because they're all mostly just a bunch of gaping assholes. 

PS - I was in a class in HS called "International Relations" and it's one of my favorite classes I've ever taken at any level of education. There was an interview from what I think was the late 80s/early 90s that Saddam Hussein and George Bush 41 and a translator for both of them. In the interview Saddam Hussein's translator called President Bush, "Mr. Bush" and Saddam FREAKED on him for not saying "President Bush". These two people obviously fucking loathed each other, but had that level of respect for the other man at the same time. For some weird reason that always kinda stuck with me and it's why I'll always refer to any president as "President X" in spite of whether or not I agree with their policy. People legit have told me not to call President Trump "President Trump" because "HE'S NOT MY PRESIDENT!!!" and it makes my skin crawl. 

I fucking hate writing about this kinda shit but I couldn't resist. It really, really pissed me off. DBAA - don't be an asshole. That's it. 

~fin~