These Marcus Mariota Shirts Are Ready To Roll Because I Don't Give A FUCK

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE SHIRTS THE SECOND HE’S DRAFTED

I know it’s hours before the draft. IDGAF*. Listen, I don’t have a lot going for me in life right now. Health insurance is considered a luxury. If I tap on the brakes my shit Saab sounds like an alien being gutted. The amount of Chef Boyardee I go through a week would make my mother cry, if she didn’t write me off years ago. All that I’m asking is the Eagles draft Marcus Mariota so I can pretend my life is somewhat meaningful again. If we have to ship these to Africa in the cargo with the Shady T’s, Nick Foles shirts and a Charles Haley sized dick load of Ball Don’t Lie’s, so be it. Chances are I’ll be dead before the thing set’s sail anyways. GET THE MAN CHIP!

CLICK HERE TO BUY THE SHIRTS THE SECOND HE’S DRAFTED

*OK, I’m required to give some fucks. I think all 4 of these are FIRE, but obviously won’t be on the market till if/when Chip gets his Saint. Also, we are aware Punter Donnie Jones holds #8 so that number will be subject to change. Goddamn I feel so alive.