Carl Moore Is Our Latest Internet Hero, Says He Punched A Bear In The Face To Save His Dog

Today, we spell hero C-A-R-L.  What a guy. No hesitation to punch a bear right in the head to save his little dog.  That’s the kind of guy I’d like to hang out with.  A man who deserves some sort of medal from the president.  By the way, I believe everything Carl said about the bear encounter for a couple reasons.  First, he seems like exactly the type of person who would punch a bear.  If they hadn’t interviewed Carl and were just like, “Yeah, some guy punched a bear so it wouldn’t eat his dog” I would call you a bold faced liar.  It just sounds too absurd.  But the interview 1000% sold me on it.  Everything about Carl, his movements and the way he carries himself, tells me he would bitch slap a bear who pissed him off.  Second, just look into Carl’s eyes.  That’s a bear puncher. And third, he has a witness and the witness has no reason to lie about what happened.  I mean, other than the part where he works for the company Carl owns and his job is probably on the line but whatever.  That’s a minor detail.  CARL MOORE 2016

PS- Pretty sure Carl bases all of his life decisions on what he thinks Jack Warden’s character in Dirty Work would do.

Double PS- John can now put this on his resumé.