The Barstool Fund - In Support Of The 30 Day FundLearn More

Flight Attendant Walks in on Her Husband in Mid-Cheat and Promptly Smashes His Guitar

Smoking Gun - Upon returning to her home at 11 PM, a Florida Woman last week discovered her husband “engaged in sexual intercourse” with another woman, a circumstance that allegedly prompted a domestic pummeling and the wife’s arrest by police, records show.

According to cops, Nicole Denison, a 29-year-old flight attendant, interrupted the marital infidelity when she arrived Wednesday at her family’s residence in Safety Harbor, a city in the Tampa Bay area.

Denison, police allege, punched her 34-year-old spouse “in his left eye causing a ‘black eye.’” Denison’s husband also sustained scratches to his forehead and a bruise on his right arm “at the hands of the defendant.”

Then, in a move straight out of “Animal House,” Denison allegedly took her husband’s acoustic guitar and smashed it against the wall, destroying the instrument and “leaving a gaping hole in the wall.” ...

The couple, married nearly three years, have two children.

A criminal complaint does not reveal how Denison, who works for Allegiant Air, happened to surprise her husband, who has worked as a bartender and fitness instructor. 

*Maybe next time he'll thiiinnnk before he cheeeaaatttsss ...*

Florida: The gift that keeps on giving. This is a sentence I've probably never spoken or written before, except ironically. And maybe it's fallen completely out of fashion, but no three words could better express my reaction to this story.

 You go, girl. 

I'm not one to advocate violence, but there are times when it is the only logical response of a rational mind. I couldn't support my queen Nicole Denison any more than I do. And I'm proud of her for going full Blutarsky on this two-timing snake. 

How dare this creep cheat on this beautiful, proud, strong, Valkyrie? Here she is, flying all over the continent, trying to keep food on the table by locking herself into an aluminum tube 30,000 feet in the air during a pandemic and serving the needs of her worried passengers. Meanwhile Beardo McInfidelity here is hitting on his bar customers and schmoozing the moms in his Zumba class to come back to his place to butter the other side of his toast. In their own marital bed, no less. While the cat's away, this mouse has been ready to play. And it disgusts me. I mean, just compare and contrast their relative attractiveness. It's way disproportionate. He shouldn't be cheating on her, she should be cheating on him with some pilot or tech millionaire flying first class. 

That said, she is not entirely without blame. When you've got a job that takes you out of town for days and weeks at a time, you don't settle down with a bartender/fitness instructor who plays acoustic guitar. If ever there was a series of warning signs that scream "He'll touch everything but the third rail," those are them. She should've seen this coming. 

That said, let's get #FreeNicoleDenison trending, right away. No justice for her, no peace.