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Now The Mets Are Just Making Up Jed Lowrie's Injuries

I may not have gone to med school and avoid WebMD because it's pretty much a Choose Your Own Adventure where you always end up with cancer. But I know a bunch of medical malarky when I hear it and PCL laxity is exactly that. It's the anal fissures of the knee. Spinal stenosis of the leg. Valley Fever of the CLs. Just fancy words to distract us from the fact that the interlocking orange NY on a blue hat is really the baseball grim reaper that turns every player into a bag of broken bones sooner or later. If you slapped a mets uniform on Cal Ripken Jr. during his prime, he would've caught some disease that sounds like it effects marsupials and never played more than 10 games in a row. Putting Jed Lowrie in a Mets uniform after spending his whole career with red letters next to his name on fantasy baseball websites was the epitome of a match made in medical hell, as this bright young man knew almost 18 months ago.

Don't worry though, Brodie still defends the signing.

Yup, as we learned last year, flexibility is key! Because having guys like JD Davis and Dom Smith playing in left field is a bad idea, unlike last night when we had *checks scorecard* JD Davis and Dom Smith playing left field! If Jed Lowrie was healthy, we could move him to 3rd and then move Jeff McNeil to left field because his position is currently being fielded by the rotting, extremely rich corpse of Robinson Cano.

When it's all said and done, Jed Lowrie's biggest contribution to the Mets will be introducing the term PCL Laxity to Mets fans along with all the other stupid injuries. Thankfully none of this has been a distraction to the fanbase!