First of all, - if you have facial hair like that you definitely fuck, but have also 110% committed fraud at some point in your life. The anti goes up to around 169% when you combine that beard with being a Florida Man.
From the Justice Department:
A Florida man was arrested and charged with fraudulently obtaining $3.9 million in Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans and using those funds, in part, to purchase a sports car for himself. Authorities seized a $318,000 sports car and $3.4 million from bank accounts at the time of arrest.
David T. Hines, 29, of Miami, Florida, was charged by criminal complaint, unsealed today upon his initial appearance before U.S. Chief Magistrate Judge John J. O’Sullivan in the Southern District of Florida, with one count of bank fraud, one count of making false statements to a financial institution and one count of engaging in transactions in unlawful proceeds.
The complaint alleges that Hines sought approximately $13.5 million in PPP loans through applications to an insured financial institution on behalf of different companies. The complaint alleges that Hines caused to be submitted fraudulent loan applications that made numerous false and misleading statements about the companies’ respective payroll expenses. The financial institution approved and funded approximately $3.9 million in loans.
The complaint further alleges that within days of receiving the PPP funds, Hines purchased a 2020 Lamborghini Huracan sports car for approximately $318,000, which he registered jointly in his name and the name of one of his companies.
In the days and weeks following the disbursement of PPP funds, the complaint alleges that Hines did not make payroll payments that he claimed on his loan applications. He did, however, make purchases at luxury retailers and resorts in Miami Beach.
Clearly Hines never took the lessons of Goodfellas to heart.