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Must See Video: A Michigan Woman Damn Near Blows Her Own Face Off Setting Fire to a Jeep

Source - A woman in Michigan is now facing the music after setting a Jeep on fire ... as she now sits injured, behind bars.

Sydney Parham made news for all the wrong reasons last week in the Detroit suburb of Harrison Township ... where she's allegedly seen on video dousing a black Jeep with gasoline and setting it on fire. When the jeep ignited in flames, Parham got more than she bargained for as the explosion of flames knocked her back.

Parham was arrested for arson and is in jail in lieu of $20,000. As for why she torched the Jeep ... the owner of the SUV, Avery Stephens, says he's got no idea. Stephens reportedly said he is NOT Parham's BF but he does know her. 

Wait for it. Waaaiiittt for iiittt ...

I'm going to have to confess I'm skeptical of Avery Stephens' denial that he and Sydney Parham have been in a dating relationship. Just because, as a general rule, when gasoline is applied to car interior, that is the very definition of "romantic entanglement." I mean, have we learned nothing from Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt because he's the victim of a serious crime here. But if I'm the Det. Lennie Briscoe on this case, I'm saying that dog won't hunt or something. Torching a car is serious work. It takes owning a gas can. Getting the window down. Finding yourself alone in the parking lot. It has to be a crime of passion, not something one does just over some neighbor dispute or a road rage incident. It takes too much commitment for that. So if they actually haven't been seeing each other, they probably should. Those kinds of strong emotions are rare in any couple. I'd hate to see all that potential wasted over a little thing like arson.

All that said, if there's someone who hasn't learned from the popular culture, it's our girl Sydney here. How many times do you have to see someone hilariously blow themselves up on television before you catch onto the fact it's not just the gasoline that ignites, it's the fumes. The Three Stooges using a match to look into a car's gas tank. Wile E. Coyote lighting a match in a dark cave that turns out to be Acme TNT and nitroglycerine. Clark Griswold's Uncle Lewis, tossing a match into the storm drain where Cousin Eddie's been emptying his RV's shitter. Hell, if my grill won't ignite on the first couple of tries, I shut the propane off and wait five minutes so I don't end up looking like I just opened the Ark of the Covenant. 

So take it from Sydney Parham. If you're going to (allegedly) torch someone's Jeep SUV, less is more. Use a long igniter. Light a piece of paper away from the vehicle and then toss it in from a safe distance. And for heaven's sake, keep your face out of the open window. Or simply don't do any of those things and get on with your life. That's a tip from a pro.

P.S. You have to respect how she wears a Covid mask throughout. Even as she's crawling back to grab all her stuff. She might be an (accused) arsonist, but at least she's socially responsible.