3 BLOGS FOR A QUARTER: Patrick Mahomes Just Pulled An All-Time Alpha Move And Bought Part Of The Kansas City Royals

I don't care if I'm the 55th fucking take on this. I have a take and I'm here to blog it. 

Suck on that. 

There's Fuck You money and then there's I'm The Best Quarterback In The Universe And Own The Local MLB Team kinda Fuck You money. This is most certainly the latter and for the life of me I'm happy Mitch Trubisky isn't causing these kinds of distractions for the Bears. Like yeah Patrick Mahomes is fucking awesome now but talk to me when the Royals lose 100 games for the 5th year in a row. Talk to me when reported attendance is back to the low teens and they're doing an early May capital call on Part Owners to pay the water bill for that fountain in centerfield. People forget the owner's box isn't all dessert carts and lobster tails. 

That said I think we can agree Patrick Mahomes is taking professional athlete fame to entirely new level. Not to double down on Mitch Misery but we're literally sitting around Chicago wondering if he can make a 3-step drop and throw to a 2nd option. We're curious if he knows the playbook and has the team's respect. Like the questions we ask ourselves are so utterly fucking pathetic and then every other week we get blindsided with some Mahomes news. First it's him being awesome then he wins a super bowl then he's the richest guy of all time and now he's buying the fucking Royals. No joke I honestly don't even know if Mitch would GO to a Cubs game much less want in on the bottom line action. 

That's why it's important to remain strong and IN on Mitch. I know that seems impossible and contrary to everything I just said, but it's now or never and I think Mahomes buying the Royals might be the competitive juice that really gets Mitch going in the right direction. Maybe it's exactly the kind of spark the Bears need to get back to the Super Bowl. 

Either way, I don't think it's inappropriate for Mitch to counter right now with a minority stake in the Chicago Hot Dogs. One it gets him back to peer-status with Mahomes. Second and more important though is you probably get 24/7 access to Lori's good vibes, and as I've said before and will repeat again, We Need More Loris. All of us.