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If We Can’t Have Fans In The Stands During Baseball Games, Hearing Players Yell “Fuck Yeah” After Home Runs Is The Next Best Thing

I am not ashamed in saying that I am a simple man with simple pleasures that enjoys two simple things very much:

1. Watching baseball players hit home runs very far


2. Hearing people curse on on places they usually aren’t heard cursing, such as an MLB team’s Twitter account. 

Is it silly? Of course. Does it make me happy? Ot course again. I’m not saying it makes my day or anything. But I giggled hearing that San Diego Padre day “Fuck yeah” just like a giggles when I heard Ron Burgundy tell all of San Diego to go fuck itself on a live news broadcast.

There is a lot of talk about how this baseball season is a nightmare for purists of the old ballgame. But for me, there is nothing sweeter than hearing the crack of the bat followed by some four letter words yelled out in either happiness or agony that is not drowned out by the hum of a few thousand sleepy San Diegoites San Diegoans San Diegans watching a ballgame before heading back to their awesome lives on the beach.

That being said, nothing trumps the Mets Twitter account mistakenly tweeting out a picture of TJ Rivera in front of Kevin Plawecki’s locket with a gigantic dildo in it.

Again, a simple man with simple pleasures and I will not apologize for it one bit.