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"I've Never Watched Lacrosse On TV But There Aren't Other Sports On" Guide to PLL Opening Day

So after a long tumultuous couple of months sports are back.

We should be grateful for all sports, even the new PLL.

Beggars can't be choosers and I know Lacrosse has a cult-like following in the Northeast and Midatlantic, but this weekend is a huge opportunity for lacrosse to break into the mainstream as it's only competing with regular-season baseball and the MLS in its timeslot.

Why am I advocating for you guys to watch it? 

Because they took lacrosse and made it so even people who have no idea what it is but like sports enjoy it. 

Paul and Mike Rabil have put so much work into this league I wouldn't be surprised if they engineered the Corona Virus themselves in order to make people be forced to watch it. lol.

They legit made a product so easy and cool to consume because they know they can’t be lazy or the sport will die. Like legit their gear is sick they let the players control everything and it’s kinda like socialist how they all have a stake in the league and team but that allows them to do all the cool shit and change the players want, unlike NFL owners. When you let players have all the power they do cool shit by straight-up not wearing shoulder pads because they know their stupid and making the uniforms sick and stuff and lowkey encouraging fighting because they all agree sometimes dudes need their asses beat for playing like dickheads. Let me reiterate THEY ARE WILLING TO FIGHT ON CAMERA IN ORDER TO GET YOU INTERESTED IN THE SPORT. It’s fuckin sick and even though there is no way to prove that last statement they had a fight and posted it all over their social media. It’s pretty cool and I bet they don’t test for PEDs either which is insanely progressive because It improves athletes’ quality of life and onfield product (this is wishful thinking). Anyway, there aren’t that many sports back so if you need a contact sport to help with the football withdrawals this is a good substitute to tie you over till we get football back. I personally have a feeling if there is no football America will spiral into apocalyptic chaos due to football draining us of our primal bloodlust which will resurface if it is not played… so let’s hope football comes back or lacrosse catches on because if it doesn’t its the purge.

Long story short watch Lacrosse so the fabric of society doesn't tear.

So rundown on the matchups Saturday.

July 25th, 4pm Redwoods Vs. Whipsnakes 

Things to watch

This is a championship rematch.


The Redwoods have 2 Midfielders who are absolute UNITS in Myles Jones and Sergio Perkovic. Myles Jones could have gone pro in probably any sport and Sergio Perkovic is basically Rob Gronkowski playing lacrosse. Lemme give you alil taste with some of their highlights of absolutely bodying dudes.

Myles Jones is a Physical force

Sergio Perkovic they call the "Motor City Hitman" cuz he's from Detroit and shoots the ball like 100 mph.

If you don’t understand the intricacies of lacrosse but like sports, seeing this tandem body dudes is worth tuning in. 

Also, they have the legend Kyle Harrison. Not sure where he is athletically because he is getting old. But the dude is def going to have serious production. 

Also, they have a nasty attackman in Matt Kavanaugh whose this no offense tiny stocky dude who is a grinder in the crease and scores acrobatic goals. Guy gets demolished a lot but comes up with the goal. Dudes a muscle hamster with a serious motor and grit. 

They also have a defenseman named Garret Epple who is the hardest hitting dude in the league. 

Now for the Whipsnakes...

They have a dude named RAMBO, If you got a name like that you kinda gotta be a badass.Maryland Legend, Guy is clutch af and an absolute meatstick.

They also have a dirty Face Off Midfielder Joe Nardella, this is a guy who can swing momentum in a game. In lacrosse, after every goal, there is an equivalent "tip-off" in basketball, but instead of throwing the ball in the air they put it on the ground and make 2 dudes headbutt each other and try to muscle each other off to get it. This causes insane momentum changes in the game which is can cause huge point swings. It causes teams even in big leads to keep playing hard because the score can change drastically after a couple of faceoff fast break scores in transition. Possession is hard to maintain.  


Gambling in Lacrosse is really interesting due to the way momentum shifts with the faceoff. 

My pick?

=Take the Redwoods,  I don’t think the Whipsnakes will cover, and take the over

7pm Chaos Vs Chrome

The big story in this game is two members of the Thompson family playing against each other. Miles and Ty Thompson are cousins in a notorious lacrosse family that hails from upstate New York. Every member of lacrosse players in this family competes for the Iroquois National Team which play lacrosse with a style and finesse that can only be described as they don’t play "Lacrosse" they play "The Creator's Game". Words can't do it justice.


Ty Thompson head an attack squad that includes Jordan Wolfe and Brendan Kavanaugh.

Jordan plays like a Qb as he picks apart defenses and can also squat 600+ lbs 

But if you don’t care about good lacrosse and want to hear about the action, former D2 linebacker turned PLL face off man Connor Farrell is an absolute Meatwagon. The guy is basically Thor and throws big bodies. 


Miles Thompson headlines the Attack here but if you about that action your gonna wanna tune in to see their goalie who is not afraid to bodyslam dudes out of nowhere.

Gambling wise I think the Chaos covers, Also definitely take the over this is going to be a shootout between the Thompson brothers. 

My final word:

Watch Lacrosse its violent and you can gamble on it. 

for more lax coverage check out 

@jordiebarstool has been doing this way longer than I have and has a bunch of big lax names on his podcast.