Barstool vs. America presented by High Noon - Season 2 | Episode 3 Premieres Tonight 7PM ETTUNE IN

Johnny Depp Trial Update: He Confronted Amber Heard's Artist Friend to Ask if the Poop in the Bed Was His

Source - Amber Heard’s pal testified Friday that Johnny Depp grilled him over whether he pooped in the then-couple’s bed.

“There was a discussion about whether you had any involvement in leaving some human feces on the bed?” Depp’s lawyer, Eleanor Laws, asked artist writer iO Tillett Wright.

Wright, wearing round glasses and a dark gray suit while testifying in London court by video link from Los Angeles, replied, “That was the beginning of the conversation.” ...

Depp confronted Wright by phone about a month after the incident, calling him from the LA penthouse that the actor and Heard had shared before he walked out on her. Depp had returned to the home to pick up clothes.

Wright said that after Depp asked him whether the poop was his, he heard Depp and Heard arguing — and “the phone drop” — so he called 911. 

In the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald, "The very rich are different from you and me." And the Johnny Depp libel trial against The Sun is bearing that out every day in ways nothing in Jay Gatsby's life ever could. 

I'm happy to say I've never been in a position where I had to call an acquaintance to ask if they had anything to do with the sewer trout I found in my bed. As a matter of fact, I've never found a poop in my bed. Not ever. A streak I'm hoping to keep alive indefinitely. And if I did, my sad, middle class self wouldn't know how to handle it. 

I know for sure I wouldn't have the absolute bravado Johnny Depp showed in that call. Just casually throwing it out there as a conversation starter is a bold move, Cotton. The sort of confident show of force that can only come from having a few billion dollar blockbusters on your IMDB page. If that were me, I just know I couldn't begin the call like that. I know me, and I'm certain I would've felt the need to work up to it. 

"Hey, iO. How you doing, buddy? How're things in LA? Great. Are you guys excited about the Rams? Sure, sure. I get it. So what are your artisting or writing about? Good, good. Glad to hear it. Say, while I've got you ... When you were here last, you didn't happen to lose track of anything? I mean, did you drop anything by accident? On my bed, maybe?" 

But not ol' Captain Jack. He just boldly comes right out of the gate, demanding to know if his wife's friend left that monkey tail on his 1800-count Egyptian cotton, all social decorum and phone etiquette be damned. You or I would never come back from that. But Depp lives in a consequence free environment where no question is off limits. Aside from the fact he's a raving lunatic with a personal life that's a complete cluster and unidentified feces in his bed, I envy that about him. 

I have a request for next week's trial dates. More poop stories, please.