The Barstool Sportsbook Has Arrived In MichiganLearn More

Baseball Returned For 5 Innings Last Night And It Was Awesome - Then a Flood Happened

Baseball returned to our lives last night and it was awesome....for 5 innings. Once five innings happened all the water from the clouds poured onto the field. It seems 2020 took a cat nap, woke up, and realized we got away with half a sports game. Now we all have to drown. Hey, it was fun while it lasted. Let's talk about those five innings while Nationals Park sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic. 

Giancarlo came up in the top of the 1st and hit an absolute nuke off Scherzer. 112 mph off the bat absolute no doubter 459 feet into the night. You could have told me 500 feet and I'd believe it. I picked Giancarlo to win MVP in 2020 and so far I look like a genius. 

Pitching with a 2-0 lead to begin his Yankees career Gerrit Cole came out throwing only fastballs, 15 in a row to be exact. Eventually Adam Eaton ran into one and gave it a ride. 

That solo shot would go on to be the only hit given up by the right hander. Worse things have happened. His final line: 5 innings, one hit, one run, five strikeouts, one walk, one HBP. He was amped up from the start and was overthrowing for sure. That's expected when you're pitching for your dream team for the first time ever. Naturally there's going to be nerves even if there's no fans in the stands. After hitting Eric Thames in the foot to lead off the 2nd inning, Cole settled down to retire 10 batters in a row. Once he found his rhythm there was nothing the Nats lineup could do. 

Man does it feel good to have this man on our side. It is so much fucking fun to watch Cole throw the baseball. 

Other things that happened as well…

The Tyler Wade Show

Tyler Wade got the spot start in place of DJ LeMahieu and decided to try and steal the show. Wade walked in his first at bat and came all the way around to score from first on an Aaron Judge rip to left (2 hits tonight for Judge by the way, both rockets). Look at this man run. It's art. 

In his second at bat Wade tried to bunt Gio over to 2nd and instead beat it out for a hit. This led to an RBI single by Giancarlo later in the inning. 

Max Scherzer had no answer for Tyler Wade, naturally. Fast. Handsome. Unstoppable. Tyler Wade. 

Angel Hernandez

If you'd like to imagine what it's like for a blind guy to call a baseball game look no further than how Angel umpires a game behind home plate. I think the fact that you are not allowed to argue anything this year gives Angel Hernandez too much power. He knows you legally cannot dispute anything with him. It's his show. He has unlimited control and that means we're all fucked. 

Oops sorry that's Fauci. That was mean, I apologize. 

There were about five more of these kind of calls in only five innings. It's truly impressive how bad this man is at his job. How he got Opening Night is beyond me. 

And that was Opening Night! 5 innings of Yankees-Nats from Washington D.C. Baseball was back for a few hours and it was awesome. More importantly it felt very normal. I felt like I was watching a normal baseball game for the most part. Life felt normal again. As I'm typing this there is more than 2 feet of water in each team's dugout. 2020 is still very much being a motherfucker, don't you worry. I'm expecting a tornado to come out of nowhere and destroy the stadium any second now. 

Yankees 1-0. Complete Game 1 hitter for Cole in his debut. Hey we didn't get 9 in, but that's 2020 for ya. We'll try again tomorrow.