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The Buffalo Blue Jays May Be A Real Thing This Season Because The Canadian Government Will Not Allow Major League Baseball To Be Played In Canada

The Toronto Star- The Blue Jays will play their home games in Buffalo, N.Y. or Dunedin, Fla. this season after the federal government rejected a plan that would have allowed them to use the Rogers Centre. Their home opener is scheduled for July 29 against the World Series champion Washington Nationals.

The Jays had presented a 176-page return-to-play proposal to all three levels of government, featuring a modified quarantine at the Rogers Centre and the adjacent hotel, in hopes of an exemption from the 14-day quarantine that applies to the general public when crossing into Canada.

“Unlike pre-season training, regular-season games would require repeated cross-border travel of Blue Jays players and staff, as well as opponent teams into and out of Canada. Of particular concern, the Toronto Blue Jays would be required to play in locations where the risk of virus transmission remains high,” Minister of Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Marco Mendicino said in a statement. “Based on the best available public health advice, we have concluded the cross-border travel required for MLB regular season play would not adequately protect Canadians’ health and safety.”

Yes! Yes! A million times yes! There is no group of people on the planet I want added onto this 60 game crazy train of hardball mayhem that is about to unfold before us more than the Buffalo wildlings if the Canadian government doesn't want their team playing with the bad boy teams potentially dragging in covid dirt from the wild house in the neighborhood that can't get its shit together during a pandemic which could cause its citizens to get sick (the NHL will have a bubble system like the NBA while MLB will be constantly traveling around the coronaworld). 

Not only do the good people of Buffalo share a spirit with those crazy canucks north of the border, but after years of the Bills circling the wagon directly into Bills fans balls as Old Man Winter kicks their ass, those hard-nosed sons of bitches deserve to root for a fun ass Baby Blue Jays team with guys like Vlady Jr, Bo Bichette, and Cavan Biggio hitting the dick out of the baseball like their daddies did once upon a time while the warm summer sun shines on their faces.

It doesn't even matter that fans aren't allowed into games. As long as Buffalo fans can drink a few ice cold Labatts and throw each other a socially distant 6 feet through tables then post it on the internet, #BlueJaysMafia will make baseball that much more fun while giving us an illusion that football season is back, no matter what the inevitable coronavirus spikes do to training camps over the next month.

Then again, this is Major League Baseball we are talking about, whose number 1 goal appears to be making the sport as little fun for the fans as possible. And with Rob Manfred in charge, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they shipped the Jays to Florida as coronavirus puts up numbers like 2001 Barry Bonds nstead of Buffalo because...the lights aren't great.

The home of their triple-A affiliate, the Buffalo Bisons, is believed to be the favourite. The club’s stadium, Sahlen Field, opened in 1988, however, and inferior lighting is among the shortcomings.

Lights? Who gives a shit about lights? Back when I was a kid, knowing all the quirks like the dead spots in the lights or the soft patches of grass was called a homefield advantage. Besides, losing a baseball in the lights should be the least of an opponent's concerns while tracking a flyball in Buffalo, where rogue flying dildo can be thrown by some Zubaz-wearing assassin sitting outside of the right field fence at any given moment.

So if Rob Manfred or any of his minions are reading this, please for once in your lives don't fuck up a layup of a PR decision for a half court heave that nobody wants and will almost definitely blow up in your face like pretty much everything else you have done as a commissioner and make this gif a reality.