Cam Newton. N'Keal Harry. Devin Asiasi (I think; I can't see the numbers on the helmet so don't hold me to that. But he's been there in the past). And one of Littlefinger's best speeches. The only thing that could make this latest hype video from Newton better would be to have some wildly talented but reportedly dissatisfied wideout from some other team working out alongside so we can begin wildly speculating that he's coming to New England.
And we've got it.
Look, there is nothing new at all about Odell Beckham, Jr. working out with Newton. They were practicing together weeks before Newton signed with the Patriots.
And based on some of the things OBJ said in that sit down between him, Newton, Todd Gurley and Victor Cruz:
… I got the impression this has been their first offseason of getting to know each other. And this could be just the beginning of a beautiful friendship and nothing more. But …
But Beckham has been rumored to want to play for the Patriots for years. Even longer than he's been rumored to want out of Cleveland, like any sentient being would be. You don't hand shoes to the franchise player of a team you have no interest in joining.
Which OBJ did right in Baker Mayfield's face. And while it seemed like any thought of him died with Brady leaving for Tampa Bay, the two of them barely had a relationship. He and Newton seem to be spending the summer doing the football equivalent of showing each other their Randy Jackson autographed marital arts weapon and doing karate in the garage and swordfights at the toilet.
I've dismissed all the previous iterations of the OBJ/NE rumors out of hand, just because they seemed like such longshots. Beckham was routinely acting out. Drawing stupid celebration penalties. Complaining about his touches and putting himself before the team. Plus he comes with a price tag that has always been way above the Patriots wideout budget. But it's been a long time since he had a public freakout, and maybe he's matured. If he's willing to take a paycut the way Randy Moss did in order to leave behind a losing environment, I'm sure something can be worked out. And if it means adding a guy who's been catching balls from Newton for months now and would be the most physically gifted man in the Pats wide receiver meetings, I have no doubt Belichick would be amenable to making it happen.
God knows if it did, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing that's happened in the last year. Let's get the unsubstantiated, irresponsible rumor going, shall we? We're way overdue for this.