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YEAH, SCIENCE!!! A COVID-19 Vaccine Tested In The U.S. Has Boosted Immunity With Mild Side Effects And Appears To Be Ready For Final Testing

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AP- The first COVID-19 vaccine tested in the U.S. revved up people’s immune systems just the way scientists had hoped, researchers reported Tuesday -- as the shots are poised to begin key final testing. “No matter how you slice this, this is good news,” Dr. Anthony Fauci, the U.S. government’s top infectious disease expert, told The Associated Press.

The experimental vaccine, developed by Fauci’s colleagues at the National Institutes of Health and Moderna Inc., will start its most important step around July 27: A 30,000-person study to prove if the shots really are strong enough to protect against the coronavirus.

But Tuesday, researchers reported anxiously awaited findings from the first 45 volunteers who rolled up their sleeves back in March. Sure enough, the vaccine provided a hoped-for immune boost.

Those early volunteers developed what are called neutralizing antibodies in their bloodstream -- molecules key to blocking infection -- at levels comparable to those found in people who survived COVID-19, the research team reported in the New England Journal of Medicine. “This is an essential building block that is needed to move forward with the trials that could actually determine whether the vaccine does protect against infection,” said Dr. Lisa Jackson of the Kaiser Permanente Washington Research Institute in Seattle, who led the study.

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Hey Covid, tell me how my ass tastes!

I swear to God, I will pistol whip every brainiac negative nancy Stoolie that Well Actuallys these results because of the sample size, the timeline of how long it'll take to find out just how well this vaccine works, or their dislike of Big Tony Fauci. After months of coronavirus kicking our dicks in, snatching everything we love from our hands, and pretty much locking up Time Man of the Year despite being a virus, I am chalking one up for the good guys. Right before football training camps are scheduled to start no less!

As anyone who pays attention to the super fast talking during medicine commercials, side effects are always a concern. But they seem pretty tame here.

There were no serious side effects. But more than half the study participants reported flu-like reactions to the shots that aren’t uncommon with other vaccines -- fatigue, headache, chills, fever and pain at the injection site. For three participants given the highest dose, those reactions were more severe; that dose isn’t being pursued.

The test group may be a small subsection of America.

And Tuesday’s results only included younger adults. The first-step testing later was expanded to include dozens of older adults, the age group most at risk from COVID-19. 

But they are the perfect test group in my humble opinion. You know why? Because you know who plays professional sports? That's right, younger adults!

Also, can we agree to keep all 30,000 people in this next study contained in the same city with only one way in or out? Because I have played wayyyyy too many Resident Evil and seen I Am Legend too many times to let 2020 bamboozle us one last time by unveiling a zombie apocalypse as its grand finale. Bubble those 30,000 glorious bastards up like its the NBA and pray for nothing but the best results.