An "Islamically Approved" Sex Shop Will Be Opening In Mecca

(Source) — According to a report published in Alyaoum24, an Arabic news portal, the shops will “strictly cater to Muslim customers in Mecca” and is being opened after due consultation with Saudi clerics, who have approved it has ‘halal’. Abdelaziz Aouragh, who is the owner of a Dutch halal sex shop called El Asira, will be opening the halal sex shop in Mecca. El Asira is famous for its sensual oils. Aouragh, a Moroccan Muslim, told AFP that he was told by a Saudi Arabian cleric that opening of a “halal” sex shop would lead to “the improvement of the sexual relationship between husband and wife”. German company Beate Uhse will also be working with El Asira with regard to the adult store in Mecca. Beate Uhse is listed among the largest provider of “sexciting” products in Europe, and Aouragh would be selling the 18 “Islamically approved” toys in his store.

So I clicked this article because I was a bit interested in a sex shop in Mecca. I’m not too well-versed with the world of Islam but I’m pretty sure Mecca is their Vatican. So a rather strange move to get a sex shop there. But even stranger than that is the last line. “The 18 ‘Islamically approved'” sex toys would be sold in the store? 18?! That’s all you guys got over in Mecca? Byahahhaa! We’ve got like 100,000 toys just to shove up asses. 50,000 toys to tie around your balls. A bunch of shit just to pinch your titties with a chain that goes to pinch a clit which also has a chain connected to something that, yup you guessed it, is shoved up your ass. We’ve got a fucking wealth of sex toys over here. 18? Eighteen?! That’s embarrassing as hell dude. It’s like getting a 46 on a midterm when a zero looks so much better. A zero means you didn’t even try, an 18 means you gave it a whirl but you just suck at being smart/having sex with toys.

PS – I see the word “halal” used a lot in that article. Not gonna bother looking it up but am going to assume that I’ve been wrong in thinking it meant “street meat” my entire life.