"How Ohio's Tate still has a job here" - beat you to it, folks.
Anyways, if we're being honest, Mike Leach, all I really want to know right now is if there's going to be a college football season this year. Not if we're going to start on time. Not which leagues are only playing conference games. Not which programs are shutting down voluntary workouts for a week. Tell me: Are. We. Going. To. Play?
But that's became the LeBron vs. MJ of sports talk shows (talked about every single day, no one has a real answer), so I guess I won't choose it for your little Twitter game. Hmmm.....any mystery, you say? Well first, let me get out of the way the mysteries that were very popular in the replies I do NOT care about:
Who shot JFK? - What would I do with this information? Everyone with a working brain knows that there were at least two shooters. Listen, I've been to Dallas. I've been to the book depository. There's a 0.0% chance someone made that shot. There was someone on the grassy knoll. Everyone knows it. And I don't care if it was the Mafia, the KGB, FIdel Castro, or some combination of those. Doesn't change my life one bit. I guess it'd be intriguing to know if our own CIA did it. But either way, I'm trying to make some money from these mysteries. There's no money to be had in solving a 60 year old murder.
Where is Jimmy Hoffa's body? - Boooooringgggg. I can't believe this was a popular answer in the replies. The mafia killed him and buried him, and then they got off without being charged because they're the mafia. Whoopdeedoo. Happens every day.
How did Coronavirus start? - Would it be cool to know what started this pandemic that has single-handedly shut down society like this world has never before seen? Yeah. I do want to know if someone actually ate a bat or if it was genetically created in a lab as an act of terrorism. But it doesn't change anything. It doesn't give us March Madness back. It doesn't give us a guarantee for football. So what's the best case scenario here? You get to know what started it all? How badly do you really want to know if the chicken or the egg came first? The virus will still be ruining every aspect of life even if you know how it started.
Alright, now that we've gotten those out of the way, it's time to introduce the Finalists that did not win:
Is the 9/11 conspiracy true? - But, but, but, Ohio's Tate! You just said you don't care about who shot JFK or Hoffa's body, so why do you care about conspiracies now? Well folks, I'd like to know if our own government had a hand in killing nearly 3,000 of our own people, and if the deadliest act of terrorism on our own soil since Pearl Harbor was an inside job. Yeah, I'd like to know that.
Is there a cure to cancer? - Now THIS is what I need to know. I mean, billions upon billions are spent on cancer research each year, and for the last 250 years, literally the smartest people in the entire world spend their entire lives trying to figure this thing out. Have we solved it and Big Pharma is keeping it from us to keep business booming? Look, everyone knows someone that has been directly impacted by cancer, so I refuse to believe that people are supressing a cure. But how is that not solved yet? I guess my answer to Mike Leach's question wouldn't be IF there already is a cure to cancer, but what is it?
Who killed Carole Baskin's husband? - Dumb, I know. How much do I care? 0.0%. But one thing I really do have a fascination for is the way in which having more money makes your life easier. And I think that if I knew the facts behind who killed Carole Baskin's husband, I could market that as a live reveal, The Decision style, and make enough coin to never have to work again. I'd want it live on television…Baskin ready to be taken away if they decide she fed him to the tigers. Brought to you by Frosted Flakes and Cheetos. Money over important knowledge. (that's foreshadowing, kids).
Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself? - How'd he die? Who called the shot? Were the guards that are now facing charges in on it? I'd want to find a way to monetize this of course, but I also really want to know the answer. I was balls deep into the Netflix documentary the other day, and obviously there's reason to believe that it was a set up. How much power do important people really have? Enough to call a hit and fake a suicide in a maxiumum security prison? Pretty relevant right now, huh Ghislaine Maxwell? I'm probably being a prisoner of the moment here, but I'm facisnated that very, very powerful people might be getting exposed very soon.
But none of those can even tie the shoes of my official answer. I'd rather know this than all of those combined. My answer:
The winning numbers for the next Power Ball - If your answer is anything other than this you need to get your priorities in order. Always worry about the big number one: yourself. If you give me hundreds of millions of dollars, I don't care one lick about conspiracies. In fact, I'd not be on the side making the conspiracies. There's not one piece of information in the entire world I'd trade for the winning numbers to the power ball. Being filthy rich > being smart, informed, intelligent, woke, anything.
Honorable Mention: What was on the page at the end of National Treasure 2?