Can We Comment On This Dude’s Dick?

Everybody is going nuts about this dude. He’s wearing a tiny little speedo and letting ole glory fly. I respect that. I also respect his belly. That belly has taken years of bud heavies to construct. That being said ***looks around*** chubby man, where the fuck is your penis? No one can ever call the situation in his trunks the Ardennes Counteroffensive. Folks, that’s the Battle of the Bulge.

I’ve seen a bigger bulge on old ladies with wide set vaginas. So have you. That’s it. That’s all I’ll say. There’s more I could say but I won’t and that’s called class. You’re dismissed.