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27 Random Sentences

My favorite two celebrities of all-time are Johnny Carson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Whenever I steal jokes and present them as my own on Barstool, it's almost always from one of these two guys.

26 more random sentences:

  • I tweeted this the other day but it needs to be said again: Little Big League >>> Rookie Of The Year.
  • Boiled peanuts are the best peanuts.
  • Scottie Pippen remains historically underrated to this day.
  • The 1986 New York Mets were the first team I ever hated and now I love them.
  • I'd pay $5,000 to have all the posters I had in my room when I was 17 years old.
  • I believed this as a kid in school and I believe this now: Homework is fuckin' bullshit.
  • I've gotten into UFC for the first time during quarantine and I feel like I've wasted a lot of years not paying attention to it.
  • Thanks, Dave.
  • Wherever there's a town with a Popeye's, the best fried chicken in that town can be found at Popeye's.
  • My first two cars were Ford Probes and I've never really gotten over it.Probe.jpg
  • I once hit a three-pointer in former NBA player Travis Outlaw's eye.
  • The only vegetable I eat on a consistent basis is potato and I don't think that's healthy.
  • The most disappointing and boring sports movies I've ever watched were Seabiscuit and The Rookie.
  • I recommend spending an afternoon watching Magic Johnson and Larry Bird highlights on YouTube.
  • I recognize that Seinfeld is very funny and I enjoy every time I watch it, but I've never been able to become a dedicated fan of the show and I'm not sure why.
  • I thought the band Jet was going to be a much bigger deal than they eventually became.
  • The best year for movies ever was 1994 (Shawshank, Forrest Gump, Dumb & Dumber, Pulp Fiction, Above The Rim, Blue Chips, D2: The Mighty Ducks)
  • Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side are easily the two best comic strips ever written.
  • Remember when I alpha'd Mark Cuban in Miami?
  • The first Aunt Viv was so much better than the second Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince.
  • Full House was a bigger hit and is remembered more fondly, but Family Matters was the vastly superior show in every single way.
  • The back-to-back combo of Chappelle's Show and Reno 911! back in 2003 was the peak of American television.
  • I don't hunt and everybody from my hometown thinks I'm a giant pussy because of it.
  • I tell everyone my favorite food is steak but that's because I'm embarrassed that it's really ice cream sandwiches.
  • I thought Red Lobster and Applebee's were nice places to go to dinner until an embarrassingly late age in my life.
  • Whitney Houston at Super Bowl XXV is the greatest rendition of the national anthem ever.