27 Random Sentences

My favorite two celebrities of all-time are Johnny Carson and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. Whenever I steal jokes and present them as my own on Barstool, it's almost always from one of these two guys.

26 more random sentences:

• I tweeted this the other day but it needs to be said again: Little Big League >>> Rookie Of The Year.

• Boiled peanuts are the best peanuts.
• Scottie Pippen remains historically underrated to this day.
• The 1986 New York Mets were the first team I ever hated and now I love them.
• I'd pay $5,000 to have all the posters I had in my room when I was 17 years old.
• I believed this as a kid in school and I believe this now: Homework is fuckin' bullshit.
• I've gotten into UFC for the first time during quarantine and I feel like I've wasted a lot of years not paying attention to it.
• Thanks, Dave.
• Wherever there's a town with a Popeye's, the best fried chicken in that town can be found at Popeye's.
• My first two cars were Ford Probes and I've never really gotten over it.
• I once hit a three-pointer in former NBA player Travis Outlaw's eye.
• The only vegetable I eat on a consistent basis is potato and I don't think that's healthy.
• The most disappointing and boring sports movies I've ever watched were Seabiscuit and The Rookie.
• I recommend spending an afternoon watching Magic Johnson and Larry Bird highlights on YouTube.
• I recognize that Seinfeld is very funny and I enjoy every time I watch it, but I've never been able to become a dedicated fan of the show and I'm not sure why.
• I thought the band Jet was going to be a much bigger deal than they eventually became.
• The best year for movies ever was 1994 (Shawshank, Forrest Gump, Dumb & Dumber, Pulp Fiction, Above The Rim, Blue Chips, D2: The Mighty Ducks)
• Calvin & Hobbes and The Far Side are easily the two best comic strips ever written.
• Remember when I alpha'd Mark Cuban in Miami?
• The first Aunt Viv was so much better than the second Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince.
• Full House was a bigger hit and is remembered more fondly, but Family Matters was the vastly superior show in every single way.
• The back-to-back combo of Chappelle's Show and Reno 911! back in 2003 was the peak of American television.
• I don't hunt and everybody from my hometown thinks I'm a giant pussy because of it.
• I tell everyone my favorite food is steak but that's because I'm embarrassed that it's really ice cream sandwiches.
• I thought Red Lobster and Applebee's were nice places to go to dinner until an embarrassingly late age in my life.
• Whitney Houston at Super Bowl XXV is the greatest rendition of the national anthem ever.