Our objective when first approaching this project was to leave no stone unturned, and to ensure that every detail, from safety, feature and function, to style, comfort and luxury…every aspect of this endeavor had to be just right.
The fact is, you can find other solutions for “survival living”. Though none of the options today offer the peace of mind that comes with our state-of-the-art technologies, combined with the comfort and luxury that is offered through our Survival Condo ownership opportunity. Nothing even comes close.
And by "could be yours" I mean FUCK OFF. This thing is MINE. If you've been following me closely over the last year and a half like you should have, you'd know that I am trying my goddamn hardest to scrap together the funds to buy a missile silo to throw parties in. It started about 8-9 months back when I stumbled upon an extinct nuclear bomb silo in the Arizona desert right outside Tuscon.
You can read that blog here:
The possibilities were endless. Just imagine walking down the bar strip on U of A's campus telling a bunch of blonde, fake titted sorority girls you own a decommissioned nuclear bomb shelter that's only a short $36.19 Uber ride outside of town. If I would have scraped the $600,000 together before forgetting about it after writing the original blog, I'd be living life just like Dan Blizerian right now, except infinitely more douchey.
But looking back, the place was a bit of a fixer upper. Word would have gotten around U of A's campus quickly that my decommissioned nuclear bomb silo wasn't as cool as it sounds. I need my nuclear bomb/ Armageddon complex to be a spot of LUXURY, not a place that prolly napkins on the floor sopping up nuclear infused Keystone lights.
Lucky for me that's what I'll have in Kansas in a few short weeks. I'm going to call up my mortgage lender Dave Hochberg at Homeside Financial and have him broker a deal for a $4,500,000 montage for me out in Kansas. This survival condo is INCREDIBLE. Look these pictures:
That's the penthouse suite and there are varying sizes of the units available. I would NEVER leave the house again. I'd just tip the postmates driver extra for driving all the way out to Concordia KS, which is in the middle of fucking nowhere, BUT, it is awfully close to Kansas State University, if you're picking up what I'm laying down.
Just like a $100 uber ride, no big whoop. Just need to secure financing first, so anyone who has $4.5MM, lmk asap because I don't want to loose this thing.