History records the first speeding ticket in American history was issued to some poor sap named Harry Myers, who got ticketed for doing 12mph on West Third Street in Dayton, Ohio in 1904. And from the time the first cop pulled over poor Myers, people have always tried to come up with excuses.
Just today on the Barstool Yak, our own Nick Turani related how his friend got out of a speeding ticket by (not surprising if you know anything about the ANUS boys) shitting his pants:
And while not every excuse is this pungent, there are some incredible reasons people have gotten out of tickets.
None as amazing as the latest excuse that hit my timeline: "Sorry, mate, I was fighting a deadly snake with a knife."
According to the Global News, a 27-year-old man, "identified by police only as 'Jimmy,' says he used a knife and a seatbelt to fight off a deadly brown snake that had coiled around his leg while he was driving a truck in Queensland, Australia."
Police pulled him over after clocking the vehicle going 80 miles an hour, and was initially skeptical of "Jimmy's" weak ass excuse. That is until they saw the dead snake in the back seat.
The driver explained that the snake crawled up through the gearstick, between his legs, and started to "strike his chair."
HO LEE SHIT.
Jimmy then pulled over, killed the snake with his knife and then hightailed it to the nearest hospital for fear he had just been bitten by an eastern brown snake-- a highly venomous snake and one of the deadliest in the world.
THAT'S WHEN Officer Farva pulled him over for speeding across the Queensland expressway.
The police officer called the paramedics right away and they determined that Jimmy hadn't been bit, he was just in shock from the trauma.
Australia is a beautiful place, but if you google "everything in Australia is trying to kill you" it will give you a better understanding of just how dangerous even something like driving is down under.
So file this one away in the back of your brain, because telling an officer you have a brown snake in the back seat will definitely beat telling the cop you have a brown snake in your pants, ala Nick Turani.