Rob Lowe's Chris Farley Stories Are Literally Everything You Would Want Them To Be

Conan O'Brien and Rob Lowe were chatting about the good ol' days and exchanging stories about their first encounters with Chris Farley, and damn it if Lowe's story doesn't make you feel like he was gone way too soon. 

"I met him at Lorne's wedding. And you know how there are certain people in life that, for whatever reason, you remember exactly where you were when you met them? Think about how many people we meet - famous, not famous - and we don't remember where we met them for the first time, or what they were doing, or how they were standing. 

Farley was one of those guys, probably because he was packed into a suit that was 17 times too small for him...

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… and sweating like he jumped into Lake Michigan… 

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… but he was standing by the porta-potty."

We don't often remember how we met someone because most people are unspectacular, especially when you first meet them. But Rob Lowe running into Chris Farley for the very first time? Well, it's everything you could ever want from a first encounter with Farley. From the suit to the sweat to the porta-potty - you couldn't dream up a better way to meet the legend. It was perfect.

"Then we did Tommy Boy together and I loved him. He and Spade, they would fight over me like I was the hot girl. They would get really jealous of who would spend time with me and it really made me laugh."

This is the least surprising bit of the interview because… have ya seen Rob Lowe? 

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Hot girls wish they had it like him! 

Honestly, he might be one of the most beautiful humans to ever walk on God's green earth. Gay, straight, bi, man, woman, trans - if you have a pulse, Rob Lowe makes it move. So of course they were fighting over him! 

And I'm sure David Spade wasn't too pleased about Farley's steakhouse date with the gorgeous man. 

"He loved to eat steak, and I took him to a steakhouse when we wrapped Tommy Boy. And he had two, TWO, bone-in porterhouses. Upon each bite of the two full bone-in porterhouses, he put an entire cube of butter. On every bite. And when I was horrified, I was, like, ‘Farley, what are you doing?’ He said, ‘It needs a hat!’"

I mean, COME ON! Could these stories get any better?!! It's like we're listening to a scene from a new Chris Farley flick we haven't seen yet… but kind of have.

"Every bite of steak I eat to this day, I go, ‘I wonder if I should put a hat on this?’”

Knowing what we know now, I'm glad Farley put a hat on that shit. 

His life was too short to eat like Chris Traeger.