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The HOA Can SMD: Cleaning My Front Yard Will Not Happen Until Coronavirus Subsides

I went back on Podfathers today to let the fellas in on my quarantine life. The biggest change is easily the state of my front yard.

My yard has never looked the 14th at Augusta and that’s fine. Cut the grass. Tidy up. Trim the driveway. Other than that, fuck it. I don’t give a shit about curb appeal because I’m not trying to appeal to anyone else with my landscaping prowess.

Right now, there’s 4 scuba masks, a 9 iron, a t-ball set up, 3 basketballs, 2 baseballs, a tennis ball, and some foam golf balls scattered in a random smattering throughout my front yard. Those same things have been in the yard but litteres in different locations for the better part of 3 months. The HOA isn’t thrilled but I don’t give a shit.

I’m not taking my dumbass out there every fucking night to pick up the same items. I simply remove the water from the inflatable pool every three and move the location 6 feet in a different direction and call it a day. If you’re doing more than that, I feel bad for you. It’s too damn hot and too damn coronavirusy to give the first shit about toys in the yard.

Those, my friends, are the facts; they are undisputed.