Everybody knows that keeping up with the hottest trends is the most important thing in life. Here's a little basic math for all you cats at home. No trends = no friends. Do you want to be a friendless loser your entire life? Sure, you might have a little extra time to catch up on those episodes of Deadliest Catch on Hulu without having people constantly begging you to hangout every day. But eventually you make it through every episode of Deadliest Catch. And then what are you gonna do, huh? Are you going to make the switch over to Battlefish on Netflix? Hell no. That show doesn't have a goddamn thing on Deadliest Catch and you know it. Don't even try to lie to yourself and say Battlefish isn't even half as good.
But yeah. Moral of the story here is that the light purple Waterdogs jersey is going to be the hottest thing in fashion this summer. Imagine you're at a restaurant doing a little outdoor patio dining since idiots still refuse to wear a mask and you can't eat indoors. A group of people walk by the restaurant, all decked out in their new Waterdogs jersey. But you're over there eating your spinach artichoke dip while wearing a polo like a total knob. They all point and laugh. Your girlfriend gets up and leaves immediately. She's going over to Derek's house. Derek's jersey just came in yesterday. The restaurant manager says you need to go because you're driving customers away. Turns out someone from the group of people who walked by is related to your boss and tells her about it (it's 2020). She fires you that following Monday. And to make it even worse, your parents kick you off their Hulu account and now you can't even watch Deadliest Catch.
All because you didn't get yourself a light purple Waterdogs jersey which is currently breaking the Scoville scale for spiciness.
P.S. - I love that the Waterdogs didn't release the shorts yet. That means there's still some time left for me to convince them to go with jorts. Cutoff jeans would be preferred, but I'll settle for some standard jorts.