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Is Electric Scooter Racing The Sport Of The Future?

I may look like it with that tunnel that looks like it came straight out of Tron. But in no goddamn hecking world is electric scooter racing the sport of the future. Would you like to know why?

Because fuck scooters, that's why. 

I've been anti-scooter for years now. I'll give the Scoot Squad credit, though. They've been persistent throughout the years. Every time I think they're finally about to go away, they come charging right back. Certainly a worthy adversary. But if scooters are still going to be a thing around these parts, then it's gotta but Razor or bust. At least with the Razor there's a little bit of shred factor involved there. You can bang the shit out of your shin whilst attempting a tailwhip. You can scratch the shit out of the bottom of the scooter whilst attempting to grind on the curb. You can smash your face on the ground after attempting a bar spin but landing with your wheel going sideways. I'm not saying that Razors are dope or anything, but you can at least shred. 

There's nothing rad about electric scooters, though. Besides maybe their minimal impact on the environment. But is saving the environment really worth converting the entire world into a bunch of dorks who buzz around on these things? At some point the cons start to outweigh the pros. So no offense to the Electric Scooter Championship or anything but I give them less time than the XFL divided by the AAF. 

Sidenote: What ever happened to laser tag? The light up neon suits just reminded me.