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Can Someone Please Call Reality And Help Explain How This Bathing Suit Stays Together?

[Editor’s Note: This is solely a Clickbate Smits production. All about the content, pageviews, and jokes!]

What in the name of gravitational forces!  Somebody get Issac Newton on the telegraph!  How in the world does this suit stay on properly?!?!?!  Nobody knows, other than Abby of course!  It may be sorcery to most, but to her it's another day by the pool!  During a global pandemic, no less!  Down with Covid-19!  Up with Abby and others coming out of this catastrophe even STRONGER than ever! Now let's put another shrimp on the barbie!  

ABBY BREAK: Check in with Fortnight Boy and tell him I'm tired of getting all his PAGEVIEWS for him!  

BACK TO ABBY!!!

Thank you, Abby!