The PlayBarstool App Is HereDownload Now

Jon Taffer Refused To Rescue This Wrigleyville Bar And Now It's Coming Back To Haunt Them

CHICAGO (CBS) — A Wrigleyville bar was caught on camera breaking the state and city’s reopening guidelines...CBS 2’s Tara Molina confronted the owner of The Dugout, 950 W. Addison St., and he said he is not breaking any rules. In the Facebook video, people are shown with no masks and not social distancing, but there is plenty of service going on

Alright not exactly the most bombshell investigation if we're being honest but still in the wheelhouse given a few notable items like the fact this place is steps from the Wrigley right field entrance. Its general vicinity houses countless scumbag ticket vendors and was a regular spot when the Cubs sucked horrifically where you could get loaded for extremely cheap if you were willing to drink out of the same 12 oz. clear plastic solo cup for the afternoon. That's about as nice as it gets though as we're otherwise talking about the kind of shithole you don't proudly brag about on instagram. But rather if going to The Dugout was equivalent to watching porn, let's just say you'd be deleting your search history moments after leaving while feeling extremely guilty. Why'd you click on that? 

But even more notable about this unironic dive is that Jon Taffer absolutely hates its owner's fucking guts inside and out:

Cressy and The Dugout were on the popular TV show “Bar Rescue” a few years ago. Host Jon Taffer walked off the show in the final scene after complaining that Cressy was drunk, and Cressy’s staff quit on screen.

Like all good fathers, Jon Taffer is significantly more terrifying when he's Not Mad, Just Disappointed.

To be fair that dude is BOMBED so you'd probably all be pissed off too. And not good Bombed either. We're talking the kind of hammered you get on a low-grade neighborhood rooftop All You Can Drink Beer & Some Wine package. But then halfway through the 6th you switch over to a couple of deeply-poured sauvignon blancs because you got 6-outs of boozing left and domestics in the sun can only take you so far down the road to your genetically inclined blackout. So he goes wine. Only problem is the Cubs just brought in Justin Grimm and that means you should probably get comfortable. He drinks 6 SB's before stumbling home to Jon. That's the kind of Bombed we're talking about. 

Do I measure people at their worst moments? Absolutely not. A woman Susanna taught me to be bigger and stronger than that. 

But can we also agree The Dugout sucks anyways? I mean if it's between cocktails at home and The Dugout then you gotta take cocktails at home anyways. A world where you're drinking at The Dugout without a Cubs game is a world you don't want to know.

U4M.gifCome the week of July 19th when the games starts back up this take is subject to change. But as it stands, a casual Saturday night at The Dugout is pre-crime and I'm not talking about social distancing rules.