Superman Would Absolutely Annihilate Batman And Anyone Who Thinks Otherwise Is A Fool
Theres been a lot of trailers and teasers recently. True Detective Season 2, the second trailer for The Force Awakens, and now we have this crappy bootleg trailer for Batman Vs. Superman. Out of all of these sizzle reels, Batman Vs Superman has my nerdy self rock hard. I wasn’t thrilled about Affleck as Batman, but I’m just going to have to place my faith in him that he can pull it off. Enormous shoes to fill after Christian Bale’s rendition but I’m just going to assume he can get the job done.
The problem with Superman movies recently is that they’re too cheesy. The Christopher Reeves’ Supermans were straight up Velveeta but back then in the 80s that was OK. The modern Supermans have been way too corny and the most recent attempt to make it more serious, “Man Of Steel,” just wasnt that good. From the little bit we can see in this trailer, I love the angle they’ve taken with Superman. This idea that he’s been viewed as a “False God” and a Devil From Above and people are fucking terrified of him is phenomenal.
Finally telling it like it is – that the existence of someone like him would send the human race into a goddam frenzy. And you know why? Because he’s a fucking extraterrestrial with limitless strength and an array of supernatural abilities that couldnt be stopped by anything on this planet. This idea that “Batman vs. Superman” would even be a fight is completely and utterly preposterous. Superman is an alien with impossible strength, invulnerability, the power of flight, Heat/X-ray vision, Superhuman breath, and a fucking great head of hair. Batman is pretty much a dude in hockey pads with a few gadgets on his belt. This fight would be like 4 seconds long. Superman uses his superspeed and breaks Bruce Wayne’s neck. End of movie. Roll credits.
If you want to tell me that Batman is the cooler dude, fine. Go ahead. Bruce Wayne is the playboy billionaire. Batman is the Dark Knight – DGAF about the rules. Vigilante justice and all that shit. Batman is cool as fuck. But you know whats cooler than being rich and getting pussy and acting all tough in the shadows? Dominating an entire planet because you’re physically superior to every inhabitant combined. Love the theatrics from Batman. “Tell me, do you bleed?…You Will.” But the reality is that would go more like “Tell me, do you bl…” and Batman would be dead on the floor. No sort of suit or armor or gadgets can stop Kal El motherfuckers. Unless Ben Affleck has some Kryptonite up in this bitch, this film about 2 superheroes battling each other is simply UNREALISTIC.