I’ve been going back and forth for the past 24 hours on what I should say. Should I say nothing? Should I ignore it and hope it goes away? Should I try to explain it away? To explain that if you know my sense of humor and nervous laughter old clips make a little more sense? That I defended Kap back in 2016 when it wasn’t as popular so this isn’t me becoming “woke” for convenience sake? And every time I ask myself one of these questions or plot some escape route I tell myself to just shut the fuck up and eat it. Own it. Wear it.
I've worked hard to build up equity with our fans the past decade, but I also understand that equity can vanish in a second, meaning I have to build it back up from square one. Have I had bad moments? Absolutely, but unfortunately that happens when you’re trying to entertain people every day for a decade. Comedy moves fast and boundaries get pushed and there have absolutely been times that I’ve flat out missed. I've missed big and I've missed small. I’ve tried to tow the line and fucked it up, I own that. I’m human. I cringe at old videos all the time, even the ones that are remembered fondly. I’m not a perfect person, I think I’ve gotten better, but sometimes I'm reminded how much more I have to go. I get humbled, and that's a good thing, because people who tell you they have all the answers are usually the ones that are the most full of shit. It's part of the reason why people love us, why stoolies are so loyal, its that we are human and we fuck up. We aren't perfect people, far from it, and part of being an imperfect person is putting your hand up and saying, I fucked up, I gotta do better.
I’m not going to apologize just to apologize. I don’t know what exactly that solves. I'll be told it's not sincere by a bunch of people, while another group will tell me I succumbed to the big bad boogie man of cancel culture, and the people who demand an apology wont give a fuck because they've already made their mind up about Barstool. I get how all of this works.
So where does that leave us? Something that has stuck with me this past month is our conversation with Arian Foster on PMT about solidarity and letting people know you care. It may seem insignificant but my voice matters to someone. And when I watch old clips that's what I think about. I think about people of color who love this company that have my back and enjoy my content, watching old clips and saying "what the fuck?" and feeling betrayed. That hurts me because I know it hurts them. I think about letting down co-workers like Willie or Tyler, guys that I deeply care about. And that's the part I have to fix. So if you've made it this far, that's my goal. I need to speak up more, I need to use my platform to help people understand issues at a deeper level when I can. I'm not going to tell anyone how to think or what they should do, because again, I'm human and I fuck up and am still trying to figure things out myself. I want Barstool to be a place that anyone can come and have a laugh, I truly do. I don't want any group of people to think they can't be in on the joke, because at the end of the day that's what we're trying to do, make people laugh. We have a ton of funny people that make amazing content every single day and I want to spread that to the world. So that's what I have to do. And no I'm not going to get serious every day because I know this is an escape for a lot of people and I know that no one ever wants to hear me preach. I'm still going to make jokes and laugh and try to entertain all of you. But I can help, and I'm going to try and do that, because people expect more from me and I don't want to let the people I care about down.
I think this is my first blog in a year and my brain almost melted trying to put sentences together so if any of this didn't make grammatical sense, my bad.