Florida Man Arrested For Having Sex With A Tree And Calling Himself God, More Importantly, What's The Deal With This Flakka Drug Everyone Is Talking About

(Source) A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while he repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials. Kenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer. According to a Melbourne police report, Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood, yelling that he was a god before committing a sexual act on a tree.

A Melbourne police officer went to the area and confronted Crowder, who was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, officials said. Crowder walked toward the officer in an aggressive manner and identified himself as God, according to police.  The officer used a Taser on Crowder, but he pulled the probes out of his body and continued to fight, police said.  Crowder was shocked a second time, but he again pulled out the probes and went at the officer with clenched fists, according to police.

The officer punched Crowder in the face and a scrum ensued, with Crowder saying that he was Thor and trying to stab the officer with the officer’s badge, police said. Other officers arrived and helped subdue Crowder, who was handcuffed and shackled, police said. Flakka is the a variation of synthetic substances known as bath salts and delivers a cheap, powerful high while acting as an amphetamine, according to officials.  The drug can be snorted, smoked or taken by mouth and can cause violent behavior, officials said. “We have spoken to some medical professionals here and they are starting to see an increase in its use (in Brevard County),” Melbourne police spokesman Dan Lynch said.  “It’s already in South Florida, and we think it’s coming here.” Crowder, whose mugshot shows him with a black eye, was booked into the Brevard County Jail Complex. He later posted bond and was released.

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Let’s toss aside the whole fucking a tree and calling yourself God thing. This is Florida after all, high or sober that isn’t exactly ground breaking stuff. What I do want to know more about is this Flakka drug. What is this shit? I’ve been hearing about it for a month now. Flakka this and Flakka that, Big Cat you have to try Flakka if you really want to party and have everyone think you’re cool (no one has actually said this to me but I feel the peer pressure from the internet) and now I see this story and I want to know what the hell is up. I read a couple weeks ago about it and the Cop describing it called it a 12 out of 10, no joke.

That’s about as awesome an endorsement someone can give. A police officer calling a drug a 12 out of 10? Yes please. So has anyone done Flakka before? It sounds scary but if an anonymous person on the internet can vouch for it then who am I to say he’s wrong? People who turn down drugs are self righteous losers in life, fact.