NASA Is Offering $20k For Your Shitty Idea, Literally

NY POST - NASA on Thursday launched a crowdsourcing campaign offering $20,000 to the person who comes up with the best design for space toilets ahead of the agency’s 2024 flight to the moon.

While space toilets are already in use at the International Space Station (ISS), they are specifically designed for microgravity, meaning people and objects appear to be weightless. 

But a mission to the moon would require a special design for the shuttle’s toilets to work in lunar gravity, which is approximately one-sixth of Earth’s gravity.

Umm... should we be concerned here? I'm no rocket scientist, but considering NASA is quite literally FILLED with them, why the fuck are they asking us for help? Did something happen to their brilliant minds? Since when does NASA implore the creativity and talents of a bunch of ordinary, everyday fools? 

giphy.gif

“While we may know how to make space toilets, we recognize that there are a lot of innovations going in waste management from the no-flush toilet to waterless toilets and more,” said Mike Interbartolo of NASA’s Johnson Space Center. “So we wanted to expand our knowledge base by using this challenge to find the unknowns that might be out there.”

Ok, I see what happened here. This Mike Interbartolo fellow was quarantined like the rest of us during the virus, giving him more free time than he's ever had in his adult life because he works for NASA and is really important. Well, in that free time, Interbartolo thought it would be cool to watch every space movie ever made and have a chuckle at the average person's limited view of space. "Aw, to be a simpleton," he said to himself with the smuggest of grins.

Until he got to Armageddon. 

ff.gif

All of his calculations and, yet, he never counted on his world being rocked by the bravest man he's ever met. But that's exactly what happened: Harry was the missing piece of the puzzle, the numerical he hadn't factored in. Right then and there, through a hazy blur of tears, he saw the common man was the answer.

After all, if a group of troubled oil drillers could save the world from an asteroid the size of Texas, surely a waste management fanatic could develop a simple space shitter!

“We are looking forward to seeing what the crowdsourcing community can come up with that is out-of-the-box and bring different perspectives for what is needed for a toilet.”

Could they be looking for you? Do you have the right stuff? Barstool is "by the common man, for the common man," so you've already got that going for you (and something tells me you know a thing or two about toilets), the only question remaining is… can you think outside your throne? 

The design for the space toilet must adhere to certain specifications. For example, it must weigh less than 33 pounds in Earth’s gravity, measure no more than 4.23 cubic feet, consume less than 70 watts of power and accommodate both sexes.

The average toilet measures about 8.5 cubic feet and weighs around 50-60 pounds, so they're asking for about half that and are willing to pay $20,000 for it. 

Hang on… $20k for a revolutionary new toilet their own scientists couldn't develop??? The Armaggedon gang were exempt from paying taxes for the rest of their lives, and they're offering you $20k to pay taxes on? LOL! They don't think you're innovative; they think you're a fucking idiot who would sell their own creation for a measly $20k! That you're too stupid to know when NASA is blatantly insulting you! 

Well, don't let them piss on your leg and tell you it's raining! If they can't give your invention the financial respect it deserves, you should keep your shitty idea to yourself and let Houston carry on with their problem.