Ed Doesn't Know What The Fuck He's Talking About With Hot Dogs

Watch this video. It was prototypical Slander Sox Ed at the Barstool Classic yesterday and then local cunt Carl decided to chime in as well. I am going to bullet point this out to make my point as clear and concise as possible:

1. I like hot dogs. I never really 'crave' a hot dog, but they're great at a BBQ or a ball park. 

2. Chicago's worst tradition by FAR is that it's basically a capital offense to put ketchup on a hot dog. I'm not sure how it started, but it's just fucking dumb. All hot dogs are the remnants of pork or beef products that would have gotten thrown out, but instead are repackaged into meat tubes and sold for like $5 a pound. It's not good/quality food. It's disgusting if you think about it. If putting ketchup on a dog helps spritz it up and makes it a more enjoyable food consummation experience for you, then have at it. You'll get crucified for it because people are lemmings and afraid to be true to themselves, but nobody actually gives a fuck, even if they say they do.

3. I don't put ketchup on my hot dogs. I jokingly asked "where's the ketchup" when I got the dog in the video above, knowing fully that Ed would have a heart attack when those words came out of my mouth. 

4. Hot dogs are hot dogs. I could go to Mariano's or Jewel, get a pack of Vienna Beef dogs, diced onions, relish, sport peppers, celery salt, etc. and make a standard Chicago dog myself that is at least in the same ball park of Portillo's, 35th street red hots, etc. The variance between a dog I make at home and a dog you get at a Fatso's or wherever else isn't THAT huge. I can't do that with pizza.

5. The variance between awesome pizza and dog shit pizza is night and day. Crazy big. I couldn't make a Phil's pizza on my own. 

6. More to point 5: Ed eats his hot dogs with NOTHING on them, a la Frank the Tank. That's not a typical Chicago style hot dog. I don't care how Ed eats his dogs, but he can't come at anyone else for how they eat theirs because he doesn't abide by Chicago dog rules. Either you follow said rules or you don't.  I could make a good Chicago dog on my own. I could boil a Vienna hot dog, throw it on a poppyseed bun and that's not too big of a difference at all between that and the dog stands Ed goes to, because he just goes bun and dog. That's it. It's not some top secret recipe, it's bread and processed meat.

7. Carl wasn't even in the room when this was filmed, he weaseled his way onto the golf course with a buddy yesterday, so I'm not sure why he even blogged it. That said he puts ranch on his pizza. It could be Phil's or any other high end Chicago style pizza, he's putting ranch on it. 

That's all I have to say about this. If you want to put ketchup on your hot dog, go for it. Nobody should give a fuck but people raise hell when you do and I'm sick of it.