So I guess all that 4-5 suitors talk wasn't typical Wilpon bullshit after all! Or it was and new suitors have emerged. Regardless, since we may have a new bidder appear every single day since the Mets are seemingly being viewed as the girl from 90s rom com movies that simply needs to take their glasses off and put down their hair to become the beautiful prom queen (Jeff Wilpon is the glasses and Fred is the scrunchy in this comparison) we are going to have to do quick breakdowns of each challenger to our savior Steve Cohen's potential throne.
Onto our very scientific breakdown.
Pro: They Are Rich As Fuck
You would think being filthy rich would be a prerequisite for a group looking to buy a New York franchise. But considering the Wilpons have been propped up by Major League Baseball for years while having money leak out of every one of the Wilpons' holes gives me pause, even as the sport appears to be heading toward a financial civil war.
Regardless, based on my calculations, which is admittedly just me counting on my fingers, $14 billion is a shitload of money. As in twice the amount of the richest owner in baseball. It is also around the number I've seen Steve Cohen valued at, which makes every Mets fan who is sick and tired of their team being owned by broke bois swoon.
Con: They Share A Wikipedia Page
Look, I get that some brothers don't mind sharing the spotlight. But I either want my team's owner to have his/her own Wikipedia page or be so off the radar they don't even have a Wikipedia page. This seems very Winklevoss brothery to me. However having the names David and Simon help their cause a bit since that is the name of the creator of the greatest show ever.
Pro: They Built Their Fortune #BrickByBrick
The first sentence of that Wikipedia's Careers section says that David got into scrap metal while Simon got his start in carpets. Name two industries scrappier than scrap metal and carpets. You can't. Actually maybe you can, but it beats the hell out of Jeff Wilpon's silver spoon industry that Fred shoved directly in his mouth.
Pro And Con: International Buyers
The Reubens were born in Bombay and moved to London, which is about as fancy as it gets in my simple suburban New Yorker brain. They also invested in Russian metals, have mines in Morrocco, Indonesia, and South Africa, and are real estate tycoons across the UK where they just so happen to be the second richest family, which is CRAZY to think about. Who is the richest family in the UK? Has to be the royal family, right? They literally run the kingdom! No matter who it is, all that money can buy a shitload of tea and fancy teapots.
Despite all that money and prestige, I am still in love with the idea of a lifelong Mets fan from New York like Steve Cohen or even Mike Repole coming in and saving us from the Wilpons because they know all the shit that we have been through as fans, which hopefully means they would do whatever is necessary to make sure that stuff never happens again and we see a World Series sooner rather than later.
Pro: Our Khaleesi Laura Goldman Approves
Queen LG hasn't steered me wrong yet and I refuse to believe she will ever steer me wrong.
Pro: They Have Great Taste As Footie Fans
As a fellow diehard Chelsea fan, I would welcome fellow members of the Blue Crew come across the pond to buy a team with open arms. Actually I don't know if Blue Crew is something Chels fans call themselves. But I do know I loooooooove being a new soccer fan and a Chelsea fan at that.
#KTBFFH #COYB #TheseAreTheOnlyTwoHashtagsIKnowAndImNotEvenSureIfCOYBIsOurHashtag
Are They Better Than Uncle Stevie Cohen?
Are They Better Than The Wilpons?
Which Mets Player Is This Ownership Group?
A whoooooole lot to love with a couple of small but real question marks. But all in all I'd be thrilled to have the Reuben Brothers own my favorite baseball team if baseball doesn't just outright die for good in 2020.