Genius Man Holds Himself Hostage At The Top Of An Amusement Park Tower In Protest Of "Unfair" Charges Against Him

What would you do if you felt you were being wrongfully charged? Would you hire a lawyer and keep your mouth closed because anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? If you were out on bail, would you make damn sure to be on your best behavior because you know that your character, and every single one of your actions, is on trial? Maybe do some volunteering to fluff up the ol' "decent member of society" resume?

OR... would you climb a gigantic,160-foot tower in protest of these wrongful charges and then - in what can only be viewed as the ultimate negotiation tactic - hold yourself hostage for hours in order to secure an attorney? All while, of course, taking time to speak to the media with enthusiastic expletives? 

Well, you would if you were Chris Angulo.  

NEWS 12 NJ - The man, identified as Chris Angulo, climbed the Skyscraper ride and spent around four hours on top of the ride… He said he was upset with a number of issues and feels he's being falsely accused of threatening Bay Head police…

Angulo planted an American flag at the top of the ride, and was securely harnessed in place

He climbed a giant tower as a statement of his innocence AND he planted the American flag?

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Absolutely amazing! Because you know who would never threaten police officers? American patriots who even in their darkest moments, put their selfishness aside and risk everything just to tie the flag to a tower in the sky. That's a real 'Merican.

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Unfortunately for Angulo, his patriotism cost him some new, not-so-unfair charges.

Seaside officials say he will be held responsible for the cost of the operations, in addition to the criminal charges.

Damn. 

You know what though? It doesn't even matter. They can lock him up and throw away the key, they can take his life, but they will never take his freedom! 

Or this moment.

For the rest of his life, he will remember the force of the wind crashing against his body so high in the sky, the burning intensity of the sun upon his flesh, the almost-paralyzing adrenaline coursing through his body in every move he made… and the tiny crowd that gathered to see if the lunatic on the tower would survive the descent.

God bless his attorney.